SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
What Is It And How Does It Apply To Relationship Scams?
Basic Definition
A person with an addiction uses a substance or engages in a behavior, for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeat the activity, despite detrimental consequences. Addiction may involve the use of substances such as alcohol, inhalants, opioids, cocaine, and nicotine, or behaviors such as gambling.
There is evidence that addictive behaviors share key neurobiological features: They intensely involve brain pathways of reward and reinforcement, which involve the neurotransmitter dopamine. And, in keeping with other highly motivated states, they lead to the pruning of synapses in the prefrontal cortex, home of the brain’s highest functions, so that attention is highly focused on cues related to the target substance or activity. It is important to know that such brain changes are reversible after the substance use or behavior is discontinued.
Scam Victims
The same is true for scam victims. The involvement in the scam – even though it was caused by the criminal can still result in addiction because of the repeated introduction of emotional hijacking at a very intense level.
In our experience, we have observed that unlike other types of addictions, the addiction in scam victims tends to generally fade quite quickly. We have observed that most victims are over the addictive aspects of the post-scam experience within a month or two (sometimes less). However, the withdrawal does have an emotional impact on the victim,
Addiction & Mental Health
Both substance use disorders and gambling behaviors have an increased likelihood of being accompanied by mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, or other pre-existing problems. Substance use and gambling disorders not only engage the same brain mechanisms, but they also respond to many of the same treatment approaches.
There have been no scientific studies on the effects that romance scam addition causes in victims (as far as we are aware), though we see parallels with gambling addiction.
Substance use and gambling disorders are complex conditions that affect the reward, reinforcement, motivation, and memory systems of the brain. They are characterized by impaired control over usage; social impairment, involving the disruption of everyday activities and relationships; and craving. Continuing use is typically harmful to relationships as well as to obligations at work or school.
Recidivism
Another distinguishing feature of addictions is that individuals continue to pursue the activity despite the physical or psychological harm it incurs, even if it the harm is exacerbated by repeated use. Typically, one’s tolerance to a substance increases as the body adapts to its presence.
This is where scam addiction seems to differ from other forms of addiction. Though, sadly, we do see plenty of victims that have not sufficiently withdrawn or overcome the addiction after the scam ends and revert to behavior that will result in yet another fake romantic relationship.
Effects on the Brain
Because addiction affects the brain’s executive functions, centered in the prefrontal cortex, individuals who develop an addiction may not be aware that their behavior is causing problems for themselves and others. Over time, the pursuit of the pleasurable effects of the substance or behavior may dominate an individual’s activities.
But it should be noted that in scam victims that trauma also plays a part and that overlapping symptoms and effects can make it hard to treat initially until the addictive phase has passed.
Emotional Effects
All addictions have the capacity to induce a sense of hopelessness and feelings of failure, as well as shame and guilt, but research shows that recovery is the rule rather than the exception (though that is not what we see in scam victims.) There are many routes to recovery. Individuals can achieve improved physical, psychological, and social functioning on their own—so-called natural recovery. Others benefit from the support of community or paraprofessional peer-based support. And still, others opt for clinical-based recovery through the services of credentialed professionals.
The road to recovery is seldom straight: Relapse, or recurrence is common—but definitely not the end of the road. For those who achieve remission of an addiction disorder for five years, researchers report, the likelihood of relapse is no greater than that among the general population. Neuroscientists report that synaptic density is gradually restored.
In the case of scam victims, if a victim can maintain their recovery activity for a year it is likely to never be an issue again.
Myths About Addiction
The processes that give rise to addictive behavior resist a simplistic explanation. There is not just one cause: Although genetic or other biological factors can contribute to a person’s vulnerability to the condition, many social, psychological, and environmental factors also have a powerful influence on substance use.
Some characteristics, such as a lack of ability to tolerate distress or other strong feelings, have been associated with addiction (this includes past traumas and a lack of resiliency), but there is no one “addictive personality” type that clearly predicts whether a person will face problems with addiction. Except in the case of romance scams where almost ALL victims experience addiction caused by hormones and neurotransmitters triggered deliberately by the criminals.
Symptoms of Addiction
In the case of scam victims the post-scam symptoms are very few:
- Disorientation, confusion, shock, and panic after the scam is discovered and accepted.
- A frenetic search for a savior after the scam ends.
- A wave of initial anger to contrary views and guidance.
- Uncertainty about the scam being really a scam – could this all be a mistake
The thing about romance scam addiction is that at the same time a victim is going through withdrawal, they are also traumatized and beginning to process grief. This leaves the victim in a blender full of mixed symptoms.
Causes of Addiction
In the case of romance scam addition, the cause is the obvious 800-pound gorilla in the room – it was the scam!
None of the other predispositions of addition need to apply, though if a person was previously an addict it can have an effect on their resistance or vulnerability to these crimes.
Treatment of Addiction
Romance scam addiction will fade on its own – per our experience – without any extra effort UNLESS the victim is in denial and jumps back into another online relationship to feed that addition.
However, it is important that the victim engages in a real scam victim support and recovery program so that all of the other factors are supported, considered, and that the victim is helped to make it through the post-scam process.
Regardless, we always recommend that scam victims seek the help of a local trauma counselor or therapist, and join one of the SCARS support and recovery groups.
Here are resources to help find a trauma counselor or therapist:
- www.opencounseling.com
- www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/trauma-and-ptsd
- www.betterhelp.com/therapists
- www.nbcc.org/Search/CounselorFind
SCARS Support & Recovery Groups
To join a SCARS online support and recovery group go here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SCARS.Avoidance.Information.Public.Group
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ARTICLE META
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
SCARS Institute articles examine different aspects of the scam victim experience, as well as those who may have been secondary victims. This work focuses on understanding victimization through the science of victimology, including common psychological and behavioral responses. The purpose is to help victims and survivors understand why these crimes occurred, reduce shame and self-blame, strengthen recovery programs and victim opportunities, and lower the risk of future victimization.
At times, these discussions may sound uncomfortable, overwhelming, or may be mistaken for blame. They are not. Scam victims are never blamed. Our goal is to explain the mechanisms of deception and the human responses that scammers exploit, and the processes that occur after the scam ends, so victims can better understand what happened to them and why it felt convincing at the time, and what the path looks like going forward.
Articles that address the psychology, neurology, physiology, and other characteristics of scams and the victim experience recognize that all people share cognitive and emotional traits that can be manipulated under the right conditions. These characteristics are not flaws. They are normal human functions that criminals deliberately exploit. Victims typically have little awareness of these mechanisms while a scam is unfolding and a very limited ability to control them. Awareness often comes only after the harm has occurred.
By explaining these processes, these articles help victims make sense of their experiences, understand common post-scam reactions, and identify ways to protect themselves moving forward. This knowledge supports recovery by replacing confusion and self-blame with clarity, context, and self-compassion.
Additional educational material on these topics is available at ScamPsychology.org – ScamsNOW.com and other SCARS Institute websites.
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
This is a great article that spells out some of the parallels along with the differences scam victims experience versus substance addictions. As a recovering alcoholic, I know first-hand. I’m relieved to read here that for scam victims, the addiction fades on its own. I’m working on learning to handle the many ways the scam has affected me by joining the SCARS Survival School as well as seeing a therapist. I have to say that SCARS has helped me in more ways than the therapy. It fills the void left when the scam ended … and the knowledge I’m gaining is addictive. It’s been life-saving for me.
My most memorable reaction to the addiction was the frenetic search for a savior (what do I do now?) after I realized I had been involved in a scam. My second most memory was how do I tell my husband which shared space with Oh My GOSH! when I realized how much money was involved. These two go hand in hand for the 2nd ranking because knowing the amount would be something my husband would ask. I’m glad to see the words the addiction will fade with regard to the craving feelings. Recently I noticed that those feelings were fading and I was wondering if this was usual with regard to a romance crime. My crime was intense with many sexual references in the chats and the criminal sharing need and want of an intense sexual encounter with me. I have been thinking that my craving was lasting longer due to those intense sexual conversations. Now I have confirmation of that. And confirmation that those intense sexual conversations coupled with intensely angry abusive conversation could have been the vehicle for my addiction. As was noted in the article the reward and reinforcement. Many times the criminal would withdraw for up to 48 hours and cause me to go into a downward spiral of depression. To my embarrassment I would beg for “him” to return. When they returned the conversation would start in anger/abuse discipline and when I would respond with apologies and vows of “being better” I would often get the short little sentence “that’s okay”. That short sentence would floor me. Shortly after that then it was “my heart, my soulmate, my queen…..” etc. In the last month of the crime I was on a constant roller coaster of love or abuse and name calling. That was when they were trying to raise my status to money mule. I remember questioning the criminal asking if they could treat me as they do right now in chatting how would “our relationship” be if we were actually in person. Wrong move.
SSS TES
To fill the void and to try to find answers and a solution I remember “a frenetic search for a savior after the scam ends.” Fortunately I found SCARS, but did run into some recovery scammers along the way.