SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
25 Things Every Scam Victim Needs To Understand
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What is important for every scam victim to understand at the very beginning after the scam ends?
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You are not to blame, it was not your fault – period, no equivocations – there is no shame in being the victim of a crime
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You need to be able to talk about your experience
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You need to understand that you saw no red flags
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You need to learn how you were controlled and manipulated – why it works and how it was done
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You need to learn why the scam happened and what helped make you vulnerable – so you understand not to blame yourself and so you do not become a victim again
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You need to understand that you are not alone – there are nearly 60 million other scam victims like you
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You need to understand that support is not a right, you have to work for it
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You need to understand that there are just as many fake experts as scammers
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You need to understand that the police are not there for your support, they are there just to take the report
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You need to understand that there was no HIM or HER, there was only THEY – scammers work in teams
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You need to understand that this was a CRIME – it was FRAUD – they are CRIMINALS
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You need to understand that no one can save you, you must save yourself
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You need to understand that as hard as this is, you can survive this and come out the other end a better person
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You need to understand that your family & friends are also victims, they will not understand until you can help them to understand
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You need to understand that you will be judged and that is not a bad thing, because it can actually help you avoid scams in the future, but don’t let it destroy you
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You need to understand that there are consequences, sometimes terrible ones, from the scam, but if you work at it you will prevail
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You need to understand that the criminals are not your job, the police will do what can be done, report them and then worry only about yourself
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You need to understand that your money may not be recoverable, but lots of fakes will tell you they can get it back
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You need to understand that only your financial institution, the police, or the courts can get your money back – but it may not be possible
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You need to understand that you are traumatized and that you will need help to recover – professional help, not some Facebook page
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You need to understand that the grief and emotional impact after a scam ends can be terrible and you may need to ask for help – there is no shame in that
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You need to understand that recovery can take months or years, and then only if you work at it – if you don’t it may never come
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You need to understand that your future is in your hands, but that you will need help to get there
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You need to understand that because you are a victim does not mean you understand these crimes, how to recover, or how to help others – in fact the only thing you are an expert at is being scammed
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You need to understand that you cannot help anyone else until you heal yourself
Once you understand these things, you will be well on your way to recovering from the crime that devastated you.
You can learn to avoid them in the future, and stay safe online.
You can learn to help others, including your family and friends.
The SCARS mission is to help you understand these things and show you the path of recovery, but you have to take the steps, one by one, to get there!
A small few scam victims can do it on their own. The vast majority of scam victims will need help.
SCARS recommends that every scam victim seek out local trauma counselors to help them, and join a professionally managed support group – local or online.
Let us know if you want help – we already know that you need it!
Tim McGuinness, Ph.D., DFin, MCPO, MAnth, Director
SCARS – Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
An incorporated nonprofit crime victims’ assistance & crime prevention organization supporting scam victims worldwide
Learn more about SCARS at www.AgainstScams.org
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ARTICLE META
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
I need to print this out and laminate it. I understand the language and verbiage so much more now than I would have once I discovered i was scammed and it was all a lie. After 8-9 weeks of education and support from the SCARS community, I know now how much further I have to go to fully recover, but also realize that I have made steps forward towards that.
Without SCARS I would never understand a fraction of the items on this list. Thank you!
Complete, precise, all there in black and white, in my face. Which is intended! I printed the list. I accept that the crime was not my fault, most days. I understand that I was manipulated and that I saw no red flags and I know that I am vulnerable. Discovering how vulnerable I am scares me. I limit my online time and am finding other activities to keep me busy, I downloaded MalwareBytes and their protections. At times I feel like something is missing and it is – my phone that was my “connection” to the criminals. But the phone missing is the better way for me right now. I am participating in survivor school through SCARS. Another thing that I am grateful for. Finding SCARS helps with my education, my understanding of what happened and to not feel so alone. I am glad I am not alone, but it breaks my heart that so many have walked the walk I’m walking; not the same, but the walk appropriate to them. There are some like me that are seeking support, help and education. And there are many who are stuck and unable to commit or move forward. That is the saddest part. The ones who will be lost. I feel lost! What must they be feeling and going through? I understand some just shove this all away and keep going thinking they will be alright. I understand and have accepted that I will not recover any money. However, I have to live with the fact that I have to pay back the credit card companies. I have this little reminder with me until everything is settled. My trauma will take a long time to heal. I know I will have good days, bad days and very dark days. I have a wonderful support group through SCARS and my therapist and a priceless husband. I have a team for which I am MOST grateful.
This article is just what I needed when I first discovered I had been scammed. It was pure chance that I found SCARS. I was reading about getting scammed on Reddit and someone mentioned SCARS “they won’t be able to get your money back, but may make you feel better.” Articles like this do so much more. Having a path to recovery helps me cope and stay optimistic.
Powerful – worth printing out and hanging on the fridge or somewhere easily visible as a reminder every day!