Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

RSN™ Guide: You Are An Adult – So At Least Take Steps To Protect Yourself

Alright, You Are In A Relationship With A Man Or Women That You Are Sure Is Real!

You are absolutely sure they are real and that it is all a fairy tale – you will live magically happy ever after!

They have Unicorn Dust Coming Out Of Their Eyes!

Nothing we can say is going to dissuade you from your online relationship. So at least be smart about what you are doing. That makes sense right?

Playing It Safe In An Online Relationship

If you are going to connect with someone overseas and you are going to send money, follow these steps to protect yourself.

  1. Always buy plane tickets yourself in the person’s name – that way they cannot scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. you. They also can’t get a refund. Always tell them you are doing this. A real person will be very happy you are doing this. A scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. will try to talk you out of buying it, they will want you to send the money. There will always be some fantastical reason why you can’t buy the ticket.
  2. If they need money for an emergency, such as a hospital. Contact your embassy in the country to confirm the Hospital’s contact information. This is what Consuls do, they help their citizens with problems in local countries. Call the hospital’s billing department and first confirm the incident, and then if you are going to pay for it – pay the hospital directly.
  3. Always suggest that you will send the money TO your country’s embassy in that country, and they can pick it up there. Of course, a scammer will try to talk you out of it, because they know they can’t touch it. If they are ok with that method, you can probably be ok sending it MoneyGram or Western Union. Of course, this is no guarantee they are real, only that they are using a real name. This will not help you with real scammers, such as Filipinos who use their real identity, but it will bother the total fakes.
  4. The most important things for you is to decide up front, how much are you willing to lose if it is a scammer? Make a real decision, and stick to it. Let’s say you are willing to lose $100 – then when you send the first $100 and the scammer comes back to ask for more have the guts to say no! If you are using your judgment and believe the person, that is your decision. Set an amount in your head and stick to it.
  5. Always send less than they ask. If you are asked for $500, tell them you can only send $50 – watch their reaction and what they say to this. A real person will be either grateful or slightly panicked because they need a specific amount. If the person is just so-so, watch out, because it must not have been that important after all – such as when you are being scammed.

The truth is there are real people in the world that need help. Of course, they won’t contact total strangers and say they love them within a week, but who knows, golden eggs can fall from the sky!


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Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »


FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?

It is essential that law enforcement knows about scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.

Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:

  1. Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
  2. Your National Police or FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and