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A SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.™ Guest EditorialGuest Editorial A Guest Editorial is an article written by an outside contributor or author who is not a part of the SCARS Management or SCARS Editorial Team. We allow scam victims and stakeholders to contribute articles, commentary, or editorials for publication on RomanceScamsNOW.com for review and publishing. To submit an article please send it to contact@AgainstScams.org By Michele Difalco
The following is a Guest Editorial by Michele Difalco – an Anti-ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Victims’ Support Volunteer, Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com, and Healthcare Professional. Michelle plays an important role in directly helping scam victims to recover in Support GroupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
Do Not BlameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. Yourself
Do Not Blame Yourself. The scammers appeal to our sense of trust and compassion!
They are experts at adjusting their scripts to appear legitimate, whether it be their forgeries, ID’s or bogus web pages, they all appear to be reliable official institutions or so called established reputable businesses.
We become “addicted” to the viceral triggersTRIGGERS A trigger is a stimulus that sets off a memory of a trauma or a specific portion of a traumatic experience. they set up to exploit our basic human desires and needs. We become powerless to our own reactions. They count on the triggers that make us focus on the drama that is “unique to them.” They also emphasise the urgency of their situation because this considerbly reduces our ability to process the scam content objectively even when we question their resources and situations
We developed a behavioral commitment. Without us knowing, the scammers ask their potential victims to make small steps of compliance and this drew us in.
In hindsight we can now see the disproportionate relation between the scammers keeping their promises and the cost of their promises coming to fruition.
We are led to focus on the future relationship and plans which makes the money we sent look rather small by comparison.
Did we develop a lack of emotional control. Yes.
That’s the psychological – social control that they exert over us. We became unduly open to their situation and their persuasion.
Our vulnerability was on overload . We were socially isolated, because of the nature of social networks we tended to regulate our emotions when we otherwise might not.
Now we are dealing with guilt.
A powerful emotion the scammers count on. No matter how powerful the pull, continue to ignore, blockBlock Blocking is a technical action usually on social media or messaging platforms that restricts or bans another profile from seeing or communicating with your profile. To block someone on social media, you can usually go to their profile and select it from a list of options - often labeled or identified with three dots •••, delete and report the scammers. We were deliberately deceived, robbed emotionally and financially raped by these amoral creatures who have no regard for the damage they purposely incurred.
There are no physical signs of the abuse we endured. Yet we are scarred.
You are at no time at fault or to blame for this crime against you. The scam is designed to make the victim to feel self-blameSelf-Blame Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. SCARS seeks to mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception that victims are in any way responsible for the actions of offenders or scammers. There is historical and current prejudice against the victims of domestic violence and sex crimes, such as the greater tendency to blame victims of rape than victims of robbery. Scam victims are often blamed by family & friends for the crime. Scam victims also engage in self-blame even though they are not to blame..
The scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. is a criminalCriminal A criminal is any person who through a decision or act engages in a crime. This can be complicated, as many people break laws unknowingly, however, in our context, it is a person who makes a decision to engage in unlawful acts or to place themselves with others who do this. A criminal always has the ability to decide not to break the law, or if they initially engage in crime to stop doing it, but instead continues. who is responsible for the cyber-crime.
Please do not feel stupid or guilty, put the blame where it belongs on the scammers! SCARS has continued to help me with education, support and fellowship that is needed to heal.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then do better.”
Maya Angelou
Michele Difalco
New Jersey U.S.A.
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TAGS: Michele Difalco, Never Be Ashamed, Do Not Blame Yourself, No Self-Blame, Do Better,
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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its principal federal law enforcement agency. Operating under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Justice, the FBI is also a member of the U.S. Intelligence Community and reports to both the Attorney General and the Director of National Intelligence. A leading U.S. counter-terrorism, counterintelligence, and criminal investigative organization, the FBI has jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal crimes, including financial fraud. (www.IC3.gov)
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
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Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information
To learn more about SCARS visit www.AgainstScams.org
Please be sure to report all scammers HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
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DEFENDING-AGAINST-SCAMS
I was scammed by an American soldier named Mike Anthony bitner and now I cannot get a bank account because they say I defrauders them when I didn’t know what was going on I believed him when he said he was going to come over and meet me for three and half years I believed him he was arrested and kicked out of the army but I’m in a position where I can’t get a high street bank account I’m the victim here
We are sorry this happened to you. That is the risk of giving your banking information to someone you have never met. You may have to hire an attorney to resolve your issues. You should also speak with the local police to see if they have a victims advocate service to help you understand the options available in the UK.