Scammer Manipulation Tool Box – 102 Ways Scammers Manipulate Scam Victims
A Catalog of Manipulative and Control Techniques Used by Scammers
How Scams Work – A SCARS Institute Insight
Author:
• Tim McGuinness, Ph.D., DFin, MCPO, MAnth – Anthropologist, Scientist, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
Article Abstract
Scammers use a wide array of manipulation and control techniques to exploit their victims emotionally, psychologically, and financially. These tactics include gaslighting, where they cause victims to question their reality, and emotional blackmail, leveraging guilt or affection to coerce compliance.
Scammers employ social engineering to gather sensitive information by exploiting trust, or use fear of loss, creating a false sense of urgency to manipulate decisions.
Techniques like intermittent reinforcement keep victims engaged by providing small rewards, while threats of legal action or violence instill fear to force cooperation.
Through these manipulations, scammers create a powerful psychological grip, making it difficult for victims to recognize or escape the deception.
Top 102 Scammer Manipulation Techniques Used Against Scam Victims – 2024 Edition
Here is a list of the Top 102 manipulation types & terms that describe the kinds of psychological manipulation that scammers use in the commission of their crimes against scam victims, with their definitions based on authoritative sources.
Manipulation
Manipulation: The act of controlling or influencing a person or situation cleverly or unscrupulously (Cambridge Dictionary).
Manipulation is at the core of almost all scams, from phishing attacks to financial fraud. Scammers use clever tactics to exploit the victim’s emotions, such as creating fake crises, portraying themselves as trustworthy figures, or offering false hope. By controlling the situation and influencing the victim’s decisions, scammers lead victims to take actions that they otherwise would not—such as sending money or sharing personal information.
The Top 102 Manipulation Tactics & Techniques
- Anchoring: Relying heavily on the first piece of information received (the “anchor”) and using it to influence decisions, even if subsequent data contradicts it. This can be used to manipulate perceptions in negotiations or pricing strategies. (Merriam-Webster; American Psychological Association APA).
- Appeal to Authority: Using authority figures or experts (whether genuine or fabricated) to validate a claim, even when the authority is irrelevant to the topic. This manipulation makes people trust the information because of the perceived credibility of the source. (Cambridge Dictionary; Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy).
- Appeal to Pity: A logical fallacy where someone tries to win support for an argument or cause by exploiting the audience’s feelings of pity or guilt. This tactic diverts attention from the argument itself and shifts focus to emotions. (Merriam-Webster; Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
- Backhanded compliments: Insincere praise that is meant to belittle or manipulate (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Bait and switch: A sales tactic in which customers are attracted by the promise of a low-cost product, but are then encouraged to buy a more expensive one (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Blackmail: Blackmail is the act of threatening to reveal damaging information about someone unless they meet specific demands, typically financial or personal. Scammers may use real or fabricated information to coerce victims into complying. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
- Blame-shifting: Assigning responsibility for a problem or mistake to someone else to avoid accountability (Merriam-Webster).
- Blaming the victim: Assigning responsibility to the victim for the wrongdoing that occurred to them (Oxford Dictionary).
- Breadcrumbing: Giving someone small amounts of attention or affection to keep them interested while not fully committing (Merriam-Webster).
- Charm offensive: Using charm and flattery to disarm or manipulate others (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Coercion: The act of compelling a person to act in an involuntary way, often by use of threats, intimidation, or force (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Coercive persuasion: The process by which an individual’s thinking, behavior, or decisions are influenced through coercive persuasion (Collins Dictionary).
- Covert aggression: Hidden or indirect acts of hostility or manipulation (Oxford Dictionary).
- Covert narcissism: A more subtle form of narcissism where an individual manipulates through victimhood and passive aggression (Oxford Dictionary).
- Debt Threats: Debt threats occur when scammers use fake or exaggerated claims of unpaid debts to scare victims into paying money. These threats can include legal action, wage garnishment, or damage to credit scores if payments aren’t made. (Federal Trade Commission FTC).
- Deception: The act of making someone believe something that is not true, typically to gain some personal advantage (Oxford Dictionary).
- Deflection: Shifting focus away from oneself and onto others to avoid responsibility (Merriam-Webster). The act of diverting attention or blame away from oneself, often by focusing on another person or issue (Oxford Dictionary).
- Diminishing Returns: Gradually reducing the effort, affection, or attention that someone initially provided, making the victim crave the attention and do more to get back the initial level of investment. This tactic is often used in abusive relationships. (Merriam-Webster).
- Direct Threats: A direct threat is an explicit statement or action that communicates a clear and immediate danger, such as threatening physical harm or damage to property if demands are not met. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
- Disinformation: Deliberately misleading or biased information spread as part of a propaganda campaign (Merriam-Webster).
- Distortion: The act of twisting or misrepresenting facts to make them seem false or misleading (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Diversion tactics: Strategies used to divert attention from an issue or problem (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Divide and conquer: A strategy of maintaining control by breaking up larger groups into smaller, more manageable factions (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Emotional blackmail: A form of manipulation in which someone uses another person’s emotions to control their behavior (Collins Dictionary).
- Emotional coercion: Using emotional pressure or threats to compel someone to do something against their will (Oxford Dictionary).
- Emotional dumping: Overloading someone with your own emotional issues to manipulate or control their reactions (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Emotional exhaustion: Deliberately wearing someone down emotionally to make them more compliant (Merriam-Webster).
- Emotional (Amygdala) hijacking: When intense emotions override rational thinking, often used to manipulate decisions (Oxford Dictionary).
- Emotional isolation: Deliberately distancing someone from their support system to control them (Oxford Dictionary).
- Exploitation: Taking advantage of someone’s vulnerability, trust, or emotional needs for personal gain (Oxford Dictionary).
- Fake empathy: Pretending to care about someone’s emotions or problems to manipulate them (Cambridge Dictionary).
- False equivalence: The assertion that two things are equivalent when they are not, often to manipulate perception (Merriam-Webster).
- False guilt: Creating or instilling a sense of guilt in someone based on a misrepresentation of facts (Cambridge Dictionary).
- False modesty: Pretending to be humble or self-effacing as a way to manipulate others into offering praise or validation (Merriam-Webster).
- False narrative: A fabricated or misleading story, often created to deceive (Oxford Dictionary).
- False urgency: Creating a false sense of immediacy to pressure someone into making a decision (Merriam-Webster).
- Fear appeal: Using fear to persuade or control someone’s behavior (Merriam-Webster).
- Fear-mongering: The deliberate use of fear to influence public opinion or behavior (Merriam-Webster).
- Fear of Loss: Fear of loss is a psychological tactic that scammers use to create urgency and pressure. Victims are led to believe that they will miss out on an opportunity, lose money, or suffer other negative consequences if they don’t act quickly. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
- Flattery: Excessive praise or compliments, often used to manipulate or deceive (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Foot-in-the-door technique: A manipulation tactic where a small request is made initially to make the target more likely to agree to a larger request later (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Foot-in-the-Mouth Technique: A manipulation strategy where a small initial request or concession is made, making the person more likely to comply with a larger request later. It is similar to the foot-in-the-door technique but involves conversational strategies to secure compliance. (Oxford Dictionary).
- Forced Choice: Presenting a person with two options, both of which lead to a favorable outcome for the manipulator. This tactic creates the illusion of control or choice, but the options are intentionally limiting. (Oxford English Dictionary).
- Framing: A cognitive bias in which a person presents or structures information in a way that affects how others perceive and interpret it. In manipulative contexts, framing is used to distort reality or shape decision-making. (Oxford Dictionary).
- Future faking: Promising a future together to manipulate or maintain control in the present (Collins Dictionary).
- Gaslighting: A form of psychological manipulation in which a person causes another to question their perception of reality, memory, or sanity (Merriam-Webster).
- Gaslighting by proxy: Involving a third party to further confuse or manipulate the victim (Oxford Dictionary).
- Ghosting: Ending communication abruptly and without explanation as a form of emotional manipulation (Oxford Dictionary).
- Grooming: The process of establishing a relationship with a young person, often to exploit them sexually or financially (Oxford Dictionary).
- Guilt Manipulation: Guilt manipulation involves making someone feel guilty to influence their decisions or actions. Scammers often use this technique to make victims feel responsible for helping them or guilty for not providing financial support. (Oxford Dictionary).
- Guilt projection: Transferring guilt from oneself onto another person to manipulate them into feeling responsible (Merriam-Webster).
- Guilt-shaming: A manipulative tactic where someone makes another person feel responsible or guilty for events they cannot control. It often leads the victim to feel obligated to take action or apologize unnecessarily. (Cambridge Dictionary)
- Guilt-tripping: Making someone feel guilty to manipulate their decisions or actions (Oxford Dictionary).
- Hoovering: Attempting to suck someone back into a toxic relationship by making false promises or manipulating emotions (Collins Dictionary).
- Implicit Threats: An implicit threat is a more subtle form of intimidation where the danger is implied rather than stated directly. This might involve gestures, tone, or actions that suggest harm could occur if a specific behavior is not followed. (Oxford Dictionary).
- Intermittent Reinforcement: A conditioning schedule in which rewards or reinforcements are given at unpredictable intervals, making the behavior more resistant to extinction. It keeps the subject (person or animal) hopeful and dependent because they cannot predict when the next reward will come.
(American Psychological Association APA) - Intimidation: The act of frightening or threatening someone to make them do what one wants (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Isolation: A control tactic where an individual is deliberately separated from their support system, such as friends and family, to make them more reliant on the manipulator. (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Learned Helplessness: Creating a situation in which a person feels powerless to change their circumstances. The manipulator repeatedly exposes the victim to negative situations without allowing them to escape, leading the victim to believe that they cannot change their fate, even if an opportunity arises. (Merriam-Webster; American Psychological Association APA).
- Love bombing: An attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection (Merriam-Webster). Overwhelming someone with affection and attention in order to manipulate them (Merriam-Webster). Showering someone with excessive attention or affection to gain control over them (Oxford Dictionary).
- Love withdrawal: Withholding affection or approval as a form of punishment or manipulation (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Lying by omission: Deliberately withholding key information in order to deceive (Oxford Dictionary).
- Manipulative charm: Using charm and charisma to influence or deceive others for personal gain (Merriam-Webster).
- Mind-bending: Something that is confusing, extremely difficult, or mentally overwhelming (Oxford Dictionary).
- Mirroring: Copying another person’s behavior or speech patterns to gain their trust or approval (Oxford Dictionary).
- Misinformation: False or incorrect information, especially when intended to deceive (Oxford Dictionary).
- Negging: A backhanded compliment or subtle insult used to undermine a person’s confidence, often in romantic contexts, with the goal of making them seek validation from the manipulator. (Merriam-Webster; Oxford English Dictionary).
- Objectification: Treating a person as an object, devoid of autonomy or personal value, often to manipulate or control them (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Over-dependence: Creating a situation in which someone becomes emotionally or physically reliant on another, often used as a form of control (Oxford Dictionary).
- Overgeneralization: Making sweeping conclusions based on limited evidence (Oxford Dictionary).
- Over-identification: Pretending to share someone’s beliefs, struggles, or emotions to build trust and manipulate them (Oxford Dictionary).
- Passive-aggressiveness: Indirectly expressing negative emotions instead of openly addressing them (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Playing the victim: Pretending to be a victim in order to manipulate others’ sympathy or avoid blame (Oxford Dictionary).
- Power play: A maneuver or strategy used to assert control or dominance in a particular situation (Merriam-Webster).
- Pretending ignorance: Feigning a lack of understanding to manipulate or avoid responsibility (Merriam-Webster).
- Propaganda: Information, often biased or misleading, used to promote a political cause or ideology (Merriam-Webster).
- Psychological entrapment: A situation where a person feels unable to escape or change their circumstances due to mental manipulation (Merriam-Webster).
- Reinforcement Schedules: Manipulating someone by offering rewards (emotional or material) at unpredictable intervals. This strategy keeps the victim engaged, hoping for a reward, similar to intermittent reinforcement. (American Psychological Association APA).
- Rewriting history: Changing or manipulating the facts of past events to suit one’s narrative (Merriam-Webster).
- Shame tactics: Using shame or embarrassment to manipulate or control someone’s behavior (Merriam-Webster).
- Shaming: The act of causing someone to feel guilt or embarrassment as a form of control or punishment (Oxford Dictionary).
- Shifting goalposts: Constantly changing the criteria or conditions of success to prevent someone from achieving a goal (Merriam-Webster).
- Silent Sabotage: Subtle, indirect attempts to undermine someone’s efforts or achievements without direct confrontation. This can involve spreading rumors, withholding support, or subtly diminishing someone’s work. (Cambridge Dictionary; Oxford Dictionary of Psychology).
- Silent treatment: The act of ignoring someone as a form of punishment or control (Oxford Dictionary). Withholding communication as a form of punishment or control (Oxford Dictionary).
- Smokescreen: An action or statement intended to obscure, confuse, or mislead (Merriam-Webster).
- Social Engineering: Social engineering is the act of manipulating individuals into divulging confidential information or performing actions that compromise their security, often by exploiting trust or psychological vulnerabilities. Scammers use this to access passwords, personal information, or financial resources. (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Social Pressure: Social pressure refers to the influence exerted by a group or society to conform to its norms, beliefs, or behaviors. In scams, social pressure may be used to rush victims into decisions by implying that others have already complied or by suggesting a sense of urgency. (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Spin: A form of propaganda achieved through providing an interpretation of events that is meant to influence public opinion (Oxford Dictionary).
- Stonewalling: Refusing to communicate or cooperate in order to frustrate or gain control (Merriam-Webster). Refusing to engage or communicate in order to frustrate or manipulate someone (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Subtle insults: Indirect or disguised negative comments used to undermine someone’s confidence or self-esteem (Oxford Dictionary).
- Threat of Exclusion: A threat of exclusion involves pressuring someone by implying they will be left out or excluded from a group, opportunity, or social circle unless they comply with certain demands. This technique preys on the human need for social belonging. (American Psychological Association APA).
- Threats of Legal Action: A threat of legal action involves a statement where one party indicates they will initiate a legal process or lawsuit unless the other party complies with their demands. Often used in scams to intimidate victims into paying money or providing personal information. (Legal Information Institute).
- Threat of Violence: A threat of violence refers to an explicit or implicit declaration of intent to cause physical harm or damage to someone or their property, often used to coerce compliance with demands. This can be direct, such as verbal threats, or implied through gestures or previous aggressive actions. Scammers may use this tactic to create fear and manipulate their victims into providing money or personal information. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
- Toxic enmeshment: When personal boundaries are blurred in a relationship, leading to manipulation and control (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Toxic positivity: The overemphasis on positive thinking, often to invalidate or dismiss negative emotions (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Triangulation: A manipulation tactic in which one person uses a third party to communicate, control, or cause tension between two other people (Oxford Dictionary). Bringing a third party into a conflict or situation to create confusion or division (Merriam-Webster).
- Twisting reality: Presenting false or distorted versions of events to manipulate someone’s understanding (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Twisting the facts: Misrepresenting or distorting the truth for personal gain (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Undermining: Subtly sabotaging someone’s confidence or efforts to manipulate their behavior (Collins Dictionary).
- Victim blaming: Holding the victim of a crime or harmful event responsible for their own suffering (Merriam-Webster).
- Weaponizing empathy: Using someone’s empathy or compassion against them to manipulate their actions (Cambridge Dictionary).
- Withholding: Refusing to give affection, attention, or approval as a form of emotional punishment (Cambridge Dictionary).
How Are They Used
Here are the 102 explanations of how scammers use the listed psychological manipulations:
- Anchoring
Scammers use anchoring to set an initial high or low expectation that influences all subsequent decisions. In financial scams, such as investment fraud, the scammer may promise extremely high returns initially. This initial “anchor” influences the victim’s expectations, making more modest or risky follow-up requests seem reasonable by comparison. In romance scams, an early display of extravagant affection or promises of a future together serves as the emotional anchor, making later, more manipulative demands seem less severe or irrational. - Appeal to Authority
Appeal to authority is a common scam tactic where the scammer claims to have expertise, credentials, or ties to respected institutions. For example, in tech support scams, the scammer pretends to be from a well-known company like Microsoft, leveraging the brand’s authority to convince the victim to hand over sensitive information or money. In investment scams, scammers often pose as financial advisors or government officials to gain the victim’s trust. Victims are manipulated into compliance because they believe they are dealing with legitimate authorities who know better than they do. - Appeal to Pity
Scammers often use sob stories or claims of misfortune to appeal to the victim’s pity, manipulating their emotions to extract money or favors. This is frequently seen in romance scams and charity fraud, where scammers exploit the victim’s empathy. - Backhanded Compliments
Scammers may use backhanded compliments to undermine a victim’s self-esteem while pretending to offer praise. For example, in romance scams, a scammer might say, “You’re smart for someone your age” to subtly diminish the victim’s confidence, making them more reliant on the scammer for validation. This tactic keeps the victim emotionally dependent and easier to manipulate. - Bait and Switch
In investment or online shopping scams, scammers use the bait and switch technique by advertising an enticing offer—such as a lucrative investment opportunity or a low-cost product. Once the victim shows interest, the scammer persuades them to invest in something more expensive or buy an inferior product, ultimately deceiving the victim. - Blackmail
Scammers use blackmail by threatening to release compromising information about the victim unless they comply with demands, typically financial. In sextortion scams, the scammer may possess intimate images or conversations and threaten to share them with the victim’s contacts unless a ransom is paid. This plays on the victim’s fear of reputation damage. - Blame-Shifting
In romance or business scams, scammers often use blame-shifting to avoid accountability for their deception. When victims start to question the inconsistencies in the relationship or business dealings, scammers accuse the victims of being paranoid or mistrusting, thereby deflecting suspicion and manipulating the victim into feeling guilty. - Blaming the Victim
Scammers often employ this tactic to shift responsibility onto the victim when they begin to uncover the scam. In phishing or financial fraud schemes, if the victim realizes they’ve been scammed, the scammer may blame them for not paying attention or being careless, making the victim less likely to report the scam or seek help. - Breadcrumbing
In romance scams, scammers breadcrumb their victims by providing intermittent messages, gifts, or expressions of affection to maintain the victim’s emotional interest without fully committing. This keeps the victim hooked and hopeful for more significant involvement, making them more susceptible to financial exploitation over time. - Charm Offensive
Scammers often begin with a charm offensive, especially in romance or confidence scams. They flatter and overwhelm the victim with kindness, gifts, or attention, creating an emotional bond. This makes the victim trust the scammer and overlook potential red flags, making it easier for the scammer to manipulate them. - Coercion
In extortion scams, scammers use coercion by threatening harm or legal action unless the victim complies with their demands. This method of manipulation forces the victim to act involuntarily, out of fear, whether it’s paying money or providing sensitive information. - Coercive Persuasion
Used in cult-like scams or pyramid schemes, coercive persuasion involves isolating the victim and subjecting them to intense messaging that rewires their beliefs and behavior. The scammer pressures the victim to act in ways that benefit the scam’s agenda, often leading to financial ruin or emotional manipulation. - Covert Aggression
In some romance or financial scams, scammers use covert aggression, subtly undermining the victim while hiding their hostility. For example, they may use passive-aggressive comments to guilt the victim into sending money, while maintaining an outward appearance of innocence or vulnerability. - Covert Narcissism
Scammers exhibiting covert narcissism present themselves as victims or martyrs in romance scams, often using passive aggression to manipulate their targets. They play on the victim’s empathy, making the victim feel responsible for their well-being, which leads to emotional and financial exploitation. - Debt Threats
Scammers use debt threats by fabricating a false debt and threatening victims with legal consequences unless the debt is paid. In fake debt collection scams, the scammer might claim the victim owes money to a creditor and that failure to pay will result in legal action, playing on the victim’s fear of financial ruin and legal repercussions. - Deception
Scammers use deception in virtually every type of scam, from romance scams to investment fraud. By presenting false information—such as a fake identity or fabricated success story—they manipulate victims into believing something untrue. This deception builds trust and ensures the victim stays engaged, making them more likely to provide money or personal information. - Deflection
In romance or business scams, when a victim starts to question inconsistencies or demands accountability, scammers often use deflection. They may shift the blame or focus to external factors—such as blaming a financial institution for delays or suggesting the victim is too mistrustful—thereby avoiding responsibility for their fraudulent actions. - Diminishing Returns
Scammers use the concept of diminishing returns by initially showering victims with attention, affection, or promises of large financial rewards, often in romance or investment scams. Over time, as the victim becomes emotionally or financially invested, the scammer reduces their efforts. This manipulation leaves the victim craving the original level of attention or reward and compels them to invest more time, money, or emotions to return to the earlier phase of the relationship. In romance scams, for instance, the scammer might start out by engaging heavily with the victim, only to later become distant, forcing the victim to send more money or plead for attention. - Direct Threats
Scammers use direct threats by explicitly threatening victims with harm or legal action if they don’t comply. For example, in ransom or blackmail scams, the scammer may threaten to expose sensitive information unless the victim pays a fee. Direct threats can also occur in impersonation scams where the scammer claims to be a law enforcement officer and threatens jail time unless the victim transfers money immediately. - Disinformation
Disinformation is used in scams involving investment fraud, political manipulation, or misinformation campaigns. Scammers deliberately spread biased or false information to convince the victim to invest money, purchase fake products, or participate in a fraudulent scheme. For example, scammers may promote false “success stories” of cryptocurrency investments to deceive victims into giving money. - Distortion
Scammers distort the facts in romance, lottery, or inheritance scams to manipulate victims’ perceptions. For instance, they may exaggerate the financial gain or downplay the risks involved in a fake investment scheme, convincing the victim that the opportunity is more legitimate or beneficial than it is. - Diversion Tactics
Scammers use diversion tactics to avoid direct confrontation when victims start asking questions. In phishing scams or tech support frauds, when victims question the legitimacy of the scammer’s request, the scammer might divert the conversation to unrelated topics, making it harder for the victim to stay focused on the inconsistencies or the fraudulent nature of the situation. - Divide and Conquer
This strategy is often used in scams targeting families or groups, such as inheritance scams or multi-level marketing frauds. Scammers create divisions between individuals by sowing distrust or suspicion among them, weakening their collective ability to resist or question the scam. By isolating their victims, scammers make it easier to manipulate each individual. - Emotional Blackmail
In romance scams or family-related frauds, scammers use emotional blackmail by threatening to harm themselves or withhold love or affection unless the victim provides money or sensitive information. This manipulation traps the victim into complying with the scammer’s demands out of fear or guilt. - Emotional Coercion
Scammers apply emotional coercion in situations like romance or charity scams, where they pressure victims to give money or personal information by playing on their emotions. They may create fake emergencies—like needing money for medical bills or travel expenses—making the victim feel obligated to help. - Emotional Dumping
In romance or personal relationship scams, scammers use emotional dumping to overwhelm their victims with personal problems, emotional outbursts, or fabricated sob stories. This manipulation creates a sense of urgency and dependence, compelling the victim to act quickly to provide financial or emotional support. - Emotional Exhaustion
Scammers deliberately wear down their victims in long-term scams, such as romance scams or ongoing financial fraud. By constantly creating crises, asking for money, or manipulating the victim’s emotions, they exhaust the victim emotionally. This leads to a point where the victim complies out of fatigue or resignation, making them more susceptible to further manipulation. - Emotional Hijacking
Scammers manipulate victims by creating intense emotional situations, such as pretending to be in a life-threatening emergency or a dire financial situation. This emotional hijacking overwhelms the victim’s rational thinking, making them act impulsively. Romance and charity scams frequently use this tactic, convincing victims to send money without thoroughly evaluating the situation. - Emotional Isolation
Scammers often isolate victims emotionally by encouraging them to cut off contact with family and friends, who might warn them of the scam. In romance scams, the scammer may tell the victim that their loved ones don’t understand the relationship, further alienating the victim from their support system, making them more dependent on the scammer. - Exploitation
Scammers exploit vulnerabilities, such as loneliness, financial insecurity, or a desire for love and companionship. In romance and investment scams, they build trust and then take advantage of the victim’s emotional or financial dependence, extracting money or personal information to benefit themselves. - Fake Empathy
By pretending to care about the victim’s problems or emotions, scammers build a false sense of connection and trust. In romance scams, scammers often use fake empathy to bond with victims, sharing intimate details about their own (fabricated) lives to make the victim feel comfortable and understood. - False Equivalence
Scammers may use false equivalence to manipulate the victim’s perception, equating two things that aren’t actually comparable. For instance, in investment scams, they might compare a legitimate investment with their fraudulent scheme to convince the victim that their offer is just as safe or lucrative. - False Guilt
Scammers instill false guilt in victims by blaming them for problems they didn’t cause. For example, in romance scams, scammers may accuse victims of not caring enough if they hesitate to send money. This manipulative tactic pressures the victim into compliance out of a misplaced sense of guilt. - False Modesty
In romance scams, scammers might use false modesty to appear humble and genuine. By downplaying their success or qualities, they manipulate victims into offering praise or validation, further deepening the emotional connection and making the victim more vulnerable to financial requests. - False Narrative
Scammers create elaborate false stories to deceive their victims, such as in inheritance or lottery scams where they claim the victim has won a large sum of money or is the heir to a fortune. This false narrative convinces the victim to send money to cover “processing fees” or legal costs. - False Urgency
Scammers use false urgency to pressure victims into quick decisions. In investment scams, they might claim that a lucrative opportunity is about to expire or that immediate action is needed to secure a deal. This rush to act prevents victims from thinking critically or verifying the scammer’s claims. - Fear Appeal
Fear appeal is often used in tech support or government impersonation scams. Scammers tell victims that their computer is infected, their bank account is compromised, or they are under investigation by law enforcement. This tactic induces fear and makes victims act irrationally, often providing money or personal information to avoid imaginary consequences. - Fear-Mongering
Scammers use fear-mongering to create panic and urgency. In government impersonation or tech support scams, scammers tell victims they’re at risk of arrest or have compromised accounts, leveraging fear to make them comply quickly. Fear-driven tactics push victims into irrational decisions, such as sending money or sharing personal information to avoid fabricated consequences. - Fear of Loss
Fear of loss is a powerful tactic where scammers pressure victims by making them believe they will miss out on an opportunity or lose something valuable. In investment scams, scammers often create a false sense of urgency, claiming that if the victim doesn’t act immediately, they’ll lose out on a lucrative deal. This manipulation preys on the victim’s fear of missing out (FOMO). - Flattery
Excessive compliments are a common tactic in romance scams, where scammers shower victims with praise to build trust and dependency. Flattery creates an emotional bond, making victims more likely to ignore red flags and follow the scammer’s manipulative requests for money or sensitive information. - Foot-in-the-Door Technique
In many scams, scammers make small initial requests to gain compliance before escalating their demands. For example, in a charity scam, they might ask for a small donation, and once the victim agrees, they follow up with larger financial requests, gradually trapping the victim in their scheme. - The Foot-in-the-Mouth Technique
This method involves getting the victim to make a small concession or agree to something minor before gradually escalating requests. It’s a slow build-up, where scammers start with small favors before asking for more significant commitments, commonly seen in both online and offline scams. - Forced Choice
In forced choice scenarios, scammers present victims with two or more options, all of which ultimately benefit the scammer. For example, in extortion or ransomware scams, the scammer may give the victim the option to pay a large sum immediately or risk losing access to valuable data. Both choices force the victim to act against their will. Romance scammers might use this tactic by suggesting that the victim either sends money or loses the opportunity to meet the scammer, effectively limiting the victim’s choices to either financial loss or emotional abandonment. - Framing
A manipulator may present a situation in a way that controls the narrative, positioning themselves as a victim or hero to make the actual victim feel guilty, indebted, or defensive. This is common in gaslighting situations or when scammers reframe their financial needs to seem unavoidable or justified. - Future Faking
Romance scammers often promise a future together—talking about marriage, starting a family, or moving in together—to maintain control over their victim. This false sense of commitment keeps victims emotionally invested, allowing the scammer to continue asking for money under various pretenses, such as travel costs or emergencies. - Gaslighting by Proxy
Scammers sometimes involve third parties, such as fake family members or “officials,” to further confuse and manipulate the victim. By introducing others into the narrative, the victim becomes even more unsure of their perception, reinforcing trust in the scammer and making it harder for the victim to escape. - Gaslighting
In romance or long-term scams, gaslighting is used to manipulate victims by causing them to doubt their own judgment or memory. Scammers deny or contradict past conversations, creating confusion and making the victim more reliant on the scammer’s version of reality, which keeps the scam going for extended periods. - Ghosting
Scammers often use ghosting as an emotional manipulation tactic after extracting money from their victims. In romance scams, once the scammer has obtained what they want, they suddenly cut off all communication without explanation, leaving the victim confused and devastated, with little closure. - Grooming
In financial or romance scams, grooming is used to build a strong emotional connection over time. Scammers establish trust and dependency by sharing intimate details, offering emotional support, and building a facade of a deep relationship, all while setting the victim up for financial exploitation. - Guilt Manipulation
In guilt manipulation, scammers exploit the victim’s feelings of guilt to extract money or information. In romance scams, the scammer may claim to be in a dire situation, such as a medical emergency, making the victim feel responsible for helping them. This technique leverages the victim’s sense of empathy to gain compliance. - Guilt Projection
Scammers transfer guilt onto the victim to manipulate them into compliance. In romance scams, a scammer might accuse the victim of not caring or being selfish if they hesitate to send money. This guilt projection pushes the victim to act against their own better judgment out of emotional obligation. - Guilt-shaming
A manipulator may use guilt-shaming by highlighting the victim’s perceived shortcomings or failures, making them feel responsible for issues they didn’t cause. This technique is often employed in emotional blackmail or to manipulate someone into doing something they wouldn’t otherwise do. - Guilt-Tripping
In charity or romance scams, guilt-tripping is used to manipulate victims into giving money. Scammers might tell heart-wrenching stories about personal hardship or accuse the victim of being uncaring if they don’t help, using guilt as a lever to extract financial assistance - Hoovering
Scammers, especially in romance scams, use hoovering to lure victims back into the relationship after they’ve begun to pull away. They make grand promises of change, love, or future plans to draw the victim back emotionally. By playing on the victim’s hope and attachment, the scammer keeps them engaged, allowing for further exploitation. - Implicit Threats
In implicit threats, the scammer hints at negative consequences without outright stating them, making the victim feel insecure or vulnerable. For instance, a scammer may suggest that “bad things could happen” if the victim doesn’t comply with their demands, leaving the victim to imagine worse outcomes. This tactic is often used in romance scams or business frauds, where the victim feels obligated to protect themselves or their loved ones. - Intermittent reinforcement
This method involves providing rewards (like affection or attention) sporadically and unpredictably to keep the victim dependent on the manipulator’s approval. This is a powerful psychological tactic seen in abusive relationships and romance scams, where the victim is kept hopeful of a return to the “good times.” - Intimidation
In blackmail or extortion scams, scammers use intimidation to frighten victims into complying with their demands. They may threaten to expose private information or harm the victim’s reputation, forcing the victim to send money or comply with their requests out of fear. - Isolation
By isolating the victim from friends, family, or other support systems, manipulators ensure that the victim becomes more dependent on them for emotional support and guidance. This tactic is often employed in long-term romance scams or cult-like manipulations. - Learned Helplessness
Scammers create learned helplessness by repeatedly deceiving and manipulating victims until they feel powerless to change their situation. For example, in long-running romance scams, victims may feel they can’t escape the scam because they have invested too much emotionally or financially, or because the scammer has isolated them from support networks. Over time, the victim becomes resigned to their situation, believing that nothing they do will change the outcome, which makes them easier to control and exploit further. - Love Bombing
Love bombing is commonly used in romance scams, where scammers shower their targets with excessive attention, compliments, and declarations of love early in the relationship. This overwhelming affection lowers the victim’s defenses, making them more emotionally dependent and easier to manipulate for financial gain. - Love Withdrawal
Scammers use love withdrawal, particularly in emotional manipulation schemes, by cutting off affection or approval if the victim refuses to comply with their requests. In romance scams, they may suddenly turn cold or distant, pressuring the victim into sending money to “restore” the relationship. - Lying by Omission
Scammers often lie by omission in various scams by withholding key details that could reveal their true intentions. For example, in a business scam, they might omit the fact that the investment opportunity they’re presenting is a fraud, while providing just enough information to make the offer seem legitimate. - Manipulative Charm
Scammers use charm to manipulate victims, particularly in social engineering and romance scams. By presenting themselves as charismatic, trustworthy individuals, they create an emotional bond with the victim, which makes it easier to deceive them into sharing sensitive information or transferring money. - Mind-Bending
Mind-bending tactics are used in elaborate fraud schemes like phishing or tech support scams, where scammers overwhelm victims with complex, technical jargon. The victim becomes confused, overwhelmed, and reliant on the scammer’s “guidance,” making them more susceptible to the scammer’s instructions and demands. - Mirroring
Scammers use mirroring to build rapport with their victims in various scams, including romance or job scams. By copying the victim’s behavior, speech patterns, or interests, the scammer creates a sense of familiarity and trust, which lowers the victim’s guard and increases their susceptibility to manipulation. - Misinformation
Misinformation is spread in scams such as investment fraud or political scams, where scammers provide false or misleading information to influence the victim’s decisions. For instance, in a fake cryptocurrency investment scheme, scammers may share false data about potential profits, pushing the victim to invest large sums of money. - Negging
Negging involves giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults to lower the victim’s self-esteem, making them more likely to seek approval from the manipulator. This tactic can be used in romantic manipulations or social scams where the victim becomes dependent on the scammer’s praise. - Objectification
In some romance and financial scams, scammers treat their victims as objects, seeing them solely as a source of money or resources. By reducing the victim’s value to their financial worth, scammers manipulate them without regard for their emotional well-being, often draining them financially while providing little in return. - Over-dependence
Scammers often create emotional or financial over-dependence in romance scams, making the victim feel as though they cannot function without the scammer’s guidance or affection. This emotional control allows scammers to keep victims hooked, ensuring that they comply with requests for money or personal information, thinking that their support is essential to maintain the relationship. - Overgeneralization
In investment scams, scammers use overgeneralization by making sweeping statements like “everyone who invests in this gets rich” based on isolated success stories. This tactic convinces victims that the scam is a sure bet, leading them to overlook the risks or critical details that could reveal the fraudulent nature of the scheme. - Over-identification
Scammers use over-identification in both romance and business scams by pretending to share the same experiences, values, or struggles as the victim. By mirroring the victim’s emotions and life experiences, scammers quickly build trust, making it easier to manipulate the victim into sending money or confidential information. - Passive-aggressiveness
In scams such as romance or relationship frauds, scammers may exhibit passive-aggressive behavior by subtly blaming the victim or expressing dissatisfaction if their financial requests are not met. This indirect expression of displeasure pressures the victim to comply with the scammer’s demands without directly confronting the manipulation. - Playing the victim
In romance scams, scammers often play the victim, sharing fake stories of hardship, such as being stranded or having family emergencies. This manipulates the victim’s empathy, making them feel guilty if they do not help. Victims are more likely to send money when they believe they are supporting someone in need. - Power play
In blackmail or extortion scams, scammers use power plays by asserting dominance and control, often threatening to release sensitive information or ruin the victim’s reputation. By using these threats, scammers manipulate the victim into complying with their demands, such as sending money or refraining from reporting the scam. - Pretending ignorance
Scammers use the tactic of pretending ignorance in tech support or business fraud scams by acting as though they don’t understand complex processes or regulations. This allows them to manipulate the victim into taking responsibility for the situation, often leading the victim to fix an issue by providing sensitive information or payments. - Propaganda
In political or fake charity scams, scammers use propaganda by spreading misleading or exaggerated information to promote a cause or solicit donations. They manipulate victims into donating money or supporting their fraudulent cause by appealing to their emotions, particularly fear or urgency, often related to political or humanitarian crises. - Psychological entrapment
Scammers, especially in long-term romance frauds, use psychological entrapment to make victims feel mentally trapped in the relationship. Victims believe they’ve invested too much time, money, or emotion to walk away, leading them to continue supporting the scammer despite growing doubts. - Reinforcement Schedules
Scammers often use reinforcement schedules to keep victims engaged. In scams like lottery or investment fraud, scammers provide small, intermittent rewards or positive feedback—such as promises of larger gains or small returns on an investment—to keep victims hooked. By providing rewards at unpredictable intervals, scammers encourage victims to continue participating in the scam, hoping for a larger payoff. This manipulation mirrors the psychological principle of intermittent reinforcement, seen in gambling addiction, where the victim becomes trapped in a cycle of hope and reward-seeking behavior. - Rewriting history
In romance or business scams, scammers may rewrite history by changing the narrative of past interactions to suit their current needs. For instance, they may claim that a victim previously promised them financial help or that they had a prior agreement. This manipulation makes victims question their memory and increases compliance. - Shame tactics
In romance and extortion scams, scammers use shame tactics by making victims feel embarrassed about their actions or vulnerabilities. For example, a scammer may accuse the victim of being selfish if they refuse to send money, making them feel guilty and pressuring them to comply. This manipulation preys on the victim’s sense of morality and social standing. - Shaming
Shaming is commonly used in blackmail or sextortion scams, where scammers threaten to release sensitive information or images of the victim to induce feelings of guilt or embarrassment. Victims often comply with the scammer’s demands to avoid the social or reputational harm that could come from exposure. - Shifting goalposts
Scammers in Ponzi schemes or fake investment opportunities frequently shift the goalposts, continuously changing the terms of success, such as promising a payout that never arrives or asking for additional fees to “unlock” investments. This keeps victims chasing an elusive outcome, which leads to prolonged financial losses. - Silent Sabotage
Silent sabotage is used by scammers when they subtly undermine the victim’s efforts to uncover the truth. For example, in phishing scams or identity theft, the scammer might leave false clues that lead the victim to believe that all is well, even as the scam progresses. In romance scams, the scammer may slowly dismantle the victim’s other relationships or create doubts about trusted individuals, isolating the victim emotionally and making them more dependent on the scammer for emotional support. - Silent treatment
In romance scams, scammers often use the silent treatment by abruptly cutting off communication if the victim hesitates to send money or asks too many questions. This withdrawal makes the victim anxious and more willing to comply, as they fear losing the relationship or connection they have built. - Smokescreen
Scammers involved in phishing or business email compromise scams often create a smokescreen by introducing irrelevant or confusing information to distract victims from noticing the fraudulent intent behind their requests. This manipulation allows scammers to hide their true motives, making it easier to steal personal data or funds. - Social Engineering
Social engineering involves manipulating people into divulging confidential information through psychological manipulation. Scammers posing as tech support or bank representatives may use this tactic to extract personal details like passwords or financial information, claiming they need it to fix an urgent issue. This method preys on trust and authority. - Social Pressure
In social pressure, scammers use peer pressure or societal expectations to manipulate the victim into compliance. For example, in pyramid schemes or multi-level marketing scams, scammers may convince victims to invest money by making them feel left out or inferior compared to their peers who are seemingly succeeding. This tactic preys on the victim’s desire for social belonging. - Spin
Scammers running fake charities or political scams use spin by portraying events or needs in a particular light, emphasizing emotional appeals or selective facts to persuade victims to donate money. Victims are manipulated into feeling they are contributing to a noble cause, only to discover later that it was a scam. - Stonewalling
Stonewalling is a tactic used in various scams, such as tech support or customer service fraud, where scammers refuse to answer victims’ questions directly, deliberately avoiding communication that would reveal the fraud. By refusing to engage, scammers keep victims confused and frustrated, often leading them to give in to the scammer’s demands. - Subtle insults
In romance or social manipulation scams, subtle insults are used to undermine the victim’s confidence. Scammers may belittle the victim’s intelligence or financial status in a disguised way, pushing them to prove themselves by complying with requests for money or personal information. - Threat of Exclusion
The threat of exclusion involves scammers isolating victims by making them believe they will lose a valuable relationship or community if they don’t comply. In romance or cult-like scams, the victim may be told that unless they pay money or offer more emotional investment, they will lose the love or connection of the person they care about. This taps into the victim’s fear of abandonment or loneliness. - Threats of Legal Action
Scammers may use legal threats, claiming that the victim is liable for a fabricated crime or infraction. In phishing scams or fake IRS/CRA scams, scammers often tell victims that they owe back taxes and must pay immediately or face arrest. These threats are particularly effective because they play on the victim’s fear of authority and legal consequences. - Threat of Violence
In a threat of violence, scammers explicitly or implicitly threaten physical harm if the victim does not comply with their demands. This is often seen in extortion or kidnapping scams, where scammers claim they will harm the victim or their loved ones unless a ransom is paid. In some cases, scammers will fabricate stories about having hired individuals to carry out violent actions unless they are compensated. The fear of physical harm triggers intense emotional responses, making victims more likely to follow the scammer’s instructions to avoid danger. This tactic preys on the victim’s instinct for self-preservation. - Toxic enmeshment
In long-term romance scams, scammers create toxic enmeshment by blurring personal boundaries and making victims feel responsible for their well-being. Victims may feel emotionally trapped, believing they cannot leave the scammer without causing harm or abandoning a dependent, thus prolonging their entrapment. - Toxic positivity
Scammers use toxic positivity in romance and self-improvement scams by encouraging victims to stay positive and dismiss negative emotions or doubts about the scam. This invalidates the victim’s concerns and keeps them focused on the scammer’s promises of a better future, making them less likely to question or resist exploitation. - Triangulation
Scammers use triangulation in romance scams by involving a third party, like a fake friend or relative, to create tension or control the victim. The third party may “verify” the scammer’s story, further convincing the victim to trust the scammer or feel guilty for doubting them. This tactic isolates the victim and adds emotional pressure, making it easier for scammers to manipulate the situation. - Twisting reality
In investment scams, scammers twist reality by presenting distorted versions of financial reports or success stories to convince victims of the legitimacy of their scheme. They manipulate the victim’s understanding of how the investment works, making it seem like a sure thing when, in fact, it’s fraudulent. This tactic keeps victims confused and less likely to investigate the scam further. - Twisting the facts
Romance scammers often twist the facts about their identity or situation, claiming to be someone they’re not or fabricating crises to extract money from victims. By distorting the truth, they manipulate the victim’s emotions and trust, leading them to provide financial or personal support based on these lies. - Undermining
In long-term romance scams, scammers subtly undermine their victim’s confidence by questioning their judgment or decisions. For example, they might imply that the victim is overly paranoid or mistrusting when the victim questions their requests for money. This manipulation lowers the victim’s self-esteem, making them more reliant on the scammer and less likely to resist their demands. - Victim blaming
In various scams, including romance and extortion schemes, scammers engage in victim blaming by suggesting that the victim is at fault for the situation. For example, they may claim that the victim’s failure to provide more money is why the scammer is in trouble or facing hardship. This tactic shifts guilt onto the victim, making them feel responsible and more likely to comply with further requests. - Weaponizing empathy
Scammers in romance and charity scams frequently weaponize empathy by using the victim’s compassion against them. They may share fake stories of hardship, illness, or danger to elicit emotional responses and financial support. Victims are manipulated into helping because they feel responsible for alleviating the scammer’s (fabricated) suffering. - Withholding
In romance scams, scammers use withholding by refusing to give affection or attention when the victim questions them or hesitates to send money. This emotional punishment creates anxiety in the victim, leading them to comply with the scammer’s demands in exchange for the return of affection or communication.
These tactics are subtle and insidious, designed to manipulate victims into actions they wouldn’t otherwise take. Recognizing them can help potential victims avoid falling prey to scammers.
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SCARS Resources:
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- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Scammer photos ScammerPhotos.com
- SCARS Videos youtube.AgainstScams.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
Other Cyber Resources
- Block Scam Domains: Quad9.net
- Global Cyber Alliance ACT Cybersecurity Tool Website: Actionable Cybersecurity Tools (ACT) (globalcyberalliance.org) https://act.globalcyberalliance.org/index.php/Actionable_Cybersecurity_Tools_(ACT)_-_Simplified_Cybersecurity_Protection
- Wizer Cybersecurity Training – Free Security Awareness Training, Phishing Simulation and Gamification (wizer-training.com)
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This article is very insightful for me because I can now see clearly the tools and tactics the criminals used on me. While reading this article, I wanted to make sure I keep it in the back of my mind the number of tools or head games scammers have at their disposal. If I recalled correctly, there is a song by Paul Simon named “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” Or in this case- 102 ways to leave your scammers. This sticks with me.