SCARS™ Scammer Urban Legends: Chapter 9 – Victims Are Stupid?
Actually, yes, scam victims may have done something dumb, but they are almost never stupid!
In fact, the vast majority of romance scams victims are above average intelligence
It’S Fair To Wonder, Who Falls For This Stuff?
“That’s the magic question,” asked Marti DeLiema, a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University’s Center on Longevity who focuses on financial fraud. “The answer is, there’s no easy answer.” from an article in the Los Angeles Times.
She said researchers have found little correlation between a person’s age, or financial literacy and the likelihood of that same person being taken to the cleaners by con artists.
For example, it might be assumed that seniors are most easily fleeced because they’re so often targeted by fraudsters. But studies by the Federal Trade Commission have found that older consumers are less likely to be victimized than younger consumers, maybe because they’ve been around long enough to spot a pig in a poke.
Similarly, there are no firm conclusions to be drawn based on gender, race or education level.
“What we’ve found is that different types of fraud work on different profile types,” said Martha Deevy, director of the Center on Longevity’s Financial Security Division. “For instance, investment fraud works best on highly educated men, who think they’re too smart to be scammed.”
One problem with understanding the nature of fraud victims is that many people are embarrassed to report being ripped off, so it’s difficult to draw hard-and-fast conclusions from available data. Nor is it even clear how much financial fraud occurs in any given year.
It’s frequently estimated that between $40 billion and $50 billion worth of fraud is inflicted on U.S. consumers annually (though this may actually be off by an order of magnitude). But Deevy pointed out that jailed Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff was responsible for $50 billion worth of rip-offs all by himself.
So How Do Romance Scams Actually Work On People?
(Source Australian Broadcasting)
During the grooming stage, the criminal works on eliciting a high level of trust to manipulate the victim into what the criminal terms the ‘ether state’. Note the word “Manipulate.”
This state is characterized by high oxytocin levels which are increased through ‘love bombing’; validating the victim, telling him or her how wonderful they are, sending love notes and love poems through the day and relentlessly, emotionally bombarding them with ‘love vibes’.
When the scammer has manipulated the victim into this state, they can start asking for money, often citing plausible (but at the same time, unusual) reasons, such as accidents, lost wallets or banking issues.
The victim is encouraged to keep messaging through the night, leading to sleep deprivation, which also has a detrimental effect on cognitive function.
The criminal will paint a vivid and highly potent picture of a future life together. Because the victim will want to believe everything the criminal says, they will employ selective thinking.
The victim will filter out any observations that run contrary to their belief in their love interest’s story. This is why it is so difficult for well-meaning friends or family members to convince the victim they are falling for a scammer.
Sex and lies
Visceral cues also have a powerful effect on behavior and victims tend to underestimate the potential influence on their own behaviors.
Sexual desire is a common visceral factor for romance scam victims who are often lured into conversations of a sexual nature and dreams of an intimate future relationship.
The stronger the ‘pull’ for sexual connection, the less a victim is aware of anomalies in the criminal’s story.
The ATO Scam
This scam relies on the scammer’s ability to send the victim into ‘amygdala hijack’.
This is an evolutionary response to any threat to our safety and security. We are pre-wired for this response, which goes back to the days where we needed to avoid threats that would kill us.
Amygdala hijack shuts down the pre-frontal cortex, which is our rational, logical ‘executive function’ part of our brain. This causes us to act and not think.
There is a strong influence on the importance of taking immediate action. For example, during Tax scam, an individual is convinced by the criminal that if they do not make immediate payment, they will be arrested and incarcerated. Similarly, in a romance scam, the “lover” is always in peril – lost passports, being arrested, etc.
The fear response to this news causes amygdala hijack.
It Will All Be Worth It…
Once the victim starts parting with money they are susceptible to another psychological process called ‘induction of behavioral commitment’. This makes them more motivated to give more money in the belief they will get it all back.
Scammers ask the victim to make small steps of compliance to build trust and increase motivation through imagining the ‘size of the prize’. The victim feels committed to keeping sending money.
Fraudsters make sure the story of a better life through the relationship, or through lottery winnings, or inheritances, is vivid enough to strengthen the motivation and faulty decision making.
How Does It Feel To Be Scammed?
Victims are often so ashamed of falling victim that they are unwilling to share their story with others, leading them to internalize their shame.
This increases the negative effect of shame, which can then trigger depression and PTSD.
Common feedback from scam victims runs along the lines of, “I feel so stupid”, “I can’t believe I fell for this”, and “I’m normally so careful”.
Victims also feel a lack of trust, both in themselves and in the community at large. They do not trust their own ability to discern right from wrong, or good from bad, increasing their feelings of vulnerability and emotional violation.
This is why it is important that victims seek professional advice from counselors or REAL registered crime victims’ assistance & support organizations (like SCARS RSN Division that is registered with the United States Department of Justice’s National Center for Victims of Crime) to help them work through their shame and grief.
Summary
No, scam victims are not stupid or idiots, they did a stupid thing to be sure but they were manipulated into that act.
Victims need to recognize the difference and adjust their future behaviors to prevent it from happening.
We hope you agree.
Please let us know what you think?

SCARS™ Team
A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.
END
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Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »
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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI (www.IC3.gov)
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
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Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information
To learn more about SCARS visit www.AgainstScams.org
Please be sure to report all scammers HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2018 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide – RSN/Romance Scams Now & SCARS/Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated (formerly the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams)
Legal Notices:
All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2018 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.
SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams, Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support Group, are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated.
Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org
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Table of Contents
- It’S Fair To Wonder, Who Falls For This Stuff?
- So How Do Romance Scams Actually Work On People?
- How Does It Feel To Be Scammed?
- Summary
- We hope you agree.
- Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »
- Please be sure to report all scammers HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.












Thanks to this place a picture of a guy i ve been recently talking to is on here I’m hoping I reported it right if not he’s going by Alford Fred on facebook
I really don’t know if I’m being scammed part of me says yes so I block on texting and what’s app then he will find me on fb I have sent so much money phones plane tickets medical food I just don’t know he won’t send any pictures bc supposedly the camera doesn’t work he has gold but got detained at air port now needs money for a lawyer to get to fly home but sent his 9 year old daughter to his mom bc he got detained somebody help me so confused
wow holly i feel so bad for you. i have also been what i feel like that i have been scammed. and it really hurts that we can fall for this
Your analyses is so true and reflects exactly what happened to me and how I fell into it to the extent that I lost as much as 120 000 € which, of course, I do not get back and which ruined my life and the prospect of a normal and satisfactory retirement age. Now, I have to pay back the debts I concluded because of the scammer, and have to live very poorly after having worked all my life.
I know I am not the only “stupid woman”, so let’s warn all the others to get into this trap.