A SCARS™ Guest Editorial By Michele Difalco
The following is a Guest Editorial by Michele Difalco – an Anti-Scam Victims’ Support Volunteer, Scam Survivor, and Healthcare Professional. Michelle plays an important role in directly helping scam victims to recover in Support Groups of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
Do Not Blame Yourself
Do Not Blame Yourself. The scammers appeal to our sense of trust and compassion!
They are experts at adjusting their scripts to appear legitimate, whether it be their forgeries, ID’s or bogus web pages, they all appear to be reliable official institutions or so called established reputable businesses.
We become “addicted” to the viceral triggers they set up to exploit our basic human desires and needs. We become powerless to our own reactions. They count on the triggers that make us focus on the drama that is “unique to them.” They also emphasise the urgency of their situation because this considerbly reduces our ability to process the scam content objectively even when we question their resources and situations
We developed a behavioral commitment. Without us knowing, the scammers ask their potential victims to make small steps of compliance and this drew us in.
In hindsight we can now see the disproportionate relation between the scammers keeping their promises and the cost of their promises coming to fruition.
We are led to focus on the future relationship and plans which makes the money we sent look rather small by comparison.
Did we develop a lack of emotional control. Yes.
That’s the psychological – social control that they exert over us. We became unduly open to their situation and their persuasion.
Our vulnerability was on overload . We were socially isolated, because of the nature of social networks we tended to regulate our emotions when we otherwise might not.
Now we are dealing with guilt.
A powerful emotion the scammers count on. No matter how powerful the pull, continue to ignore, block, delete and report the scammers. We were deliberately deceived, robbed emotionally and financially raped by these amoral creatures who have no regard for the damage they purposely incurred.
There are no physical signs of the abuse we endured. Yet we are scarred.
You are at no time at fault or to blame for this crime against you. The scam is designed to make the victim to feel self-blame.
The scammer is a criminal who is responsible for the cyber-crime.
Please do not feel stupid or guilty, put the blame where it belongs on the scammers! SCARS has continued to help me with education, support and fellowship that is needed to heal.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then do better.”
Maya Angelou
Michele Difalco
New Jersey U.S.A.
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TAGS: Michele Difalco, Never Be Ashamed, Do Not Blame Yourself, No Self-Blame, Do Better,
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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI (www.IC3.gov)
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
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DEFENDING-AGAINST-SCAMS
I really appreciate the encouragement mixed with factual information in the SCARS articles. It’s great to learn the truth and know how to move forward with a positive mindset.
I was scammed by an American soldier named Mike Anthony bitner and now I cannot get a bank account because they say I defrauders them when I didn’t know what was going on I believed him when he said he was going to come over and meet me for three and half years I believed him he was arrested and kicked out of the army but I’m in a position where I can’t get a high street bank account I’m the victim here
We are sorry this happened to you. That is the risk of giving your banking information to someone you have never met. You may have to hire an attorney to resolve your issues. You should also speak with the local police to see if they have a victims advocate service to help you understand the options available in the UK.