A WORD ABOUT SENSITIVITY
COMMENTARY BY DR. MCGUINNESS
FOUNDER OF ROMANCE SCAMS NOW
CERTIFIED REGULATORY PRIVACY & SECURITY PRACTITIONER & ONLINE PIONEER
If you are visiting this page, it means you have been scammed or are concerned you are being scammed.
You are visiting the official page of the world’s leading anti-scam website and private organization. We have approximately 10,000 visitors daily to our website, and thousands visit our main Facebook page and our other social media pages daily.
Our role is to educate you about certain types of scams, and to do what we can to fight back.
Education comes at a price – no, we share what we do without cost – but it is a price in your time, energy, and persistence.
You became a victim of a scammer for a reason. You believed in a fairy tale. You accepted what the scammer told you because you believed in what you were going to get. Let’s be blunt – you were a fool.
WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU, NOT BABY YOU
There are times when you need to hear hard truths. There are times when you need to get angry – being angry is actually healthy, it helps you break the mental bonds that you developed with the scammer.
You can be angry with us, we are adults, we can take it. We are not going to stop supporting you and every other victim out there, but we are not going to spoon-feed you. You need to step it up.
You need to learn new skills to avoid being a victim, and it is going to take an effort, not just a Facebook LIKE!
Fighting scammers is a commitment, and takes persistence. After all we have been doing it for 25 years.
Most victims become victims again. Why? Because you didn’t learn – not really. It’s not about distrusting everyone forever, it is about being aware of the signs, and when a red flag goes up being on your guard for more.
You have to learn what those red flags are. There are a lot of places that can help you online. Use them – use them ALL.
If you need a safe place to talk about your experience, we provide that here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RomanceVictimsGroup – It is hidden from scammers, so to become a member, it’s free, private, and we keep the bad guys out. To be invited, please send an email to info@romancescamsnow.com
But talking and posting endless comments or messages is not fighting back. It matters because it will help others, but it does nothing to the scammers.
THE SCAMMERS KNOW A SECRET
If you are reading this, you will know the secret too.
Most victims do nothing. Most anti-scam groups and websites do nothing. And the scammers know this!
WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
Catching scammers! We do, but it took almost two decades for us to figure out how to do it.
We started cataloging scams like everyone does now, but also we started talking to cops all over the world. We learned about the corruption in all the scammer countries. We learned why the cops in the Western World don’t do much as well.
We learned about the scammer’s own psychology, and have written countless white-papers on that, and share much of it on our website.
We learned that there is more than one way to go after scammers. Just as how the FBI put Al Capone away, we looked at oblique tactics, and found some that worked. Different tactics in different countries, but we found solutions because of our commitment and persistence. We have a mission that we take seriously.
Unfortunately, most of the time, you will never get your money back. We are truly sorry for your loss. Everyone on our team has been there. So give up on that dream, you gave it away. However, we can hurt the scammers in other ways.
To our knowledge, we are the only professional anti-scammer organization with a professional staff that not only educates, catalogs, tracks, and takes action against scammers.
Let’s go back to the secret.
Scammers do not fear you, because you are not organized, focused, committed, and willing. But you can be. Do you really want to be?
A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF VICTIMS NEVER REPORT THE SCAMS
Make sure you report your scams: to us here (look in the menu) and to your local and your national police (see our posts).
Report them to other sites if you want too. This is where it starts – once we have enough information, we act.
But the job is not done. You need to personally get over the embarrassment and help others by bringing them into organizations that help and do something. Others need to hear your story, because silence is the scammer’s friend.
BE AN ADVOCATE AGAINST SCAMS AND SCAMMERS
You need to take action in two forms.
Go after the home country of the scammers – everywhere, but especially their tourism. On every travel website you can find, tell the truth about scamming in that country and its dangers. When these countries begin to lose real tourism revenue, they will take notice. Not until.
We work on the local police level with these countries, exploiting local police corruption and using them as a tool to go after the scammer’s wealth (that they have stolen from you and others), but unless we know everything about your scam, we can’t do that.
We are funded by a private company, and we make no secret of that. We make no profit, and employ amazing people who get paid far less than they are worth because that is all we can afford.
Make sure that you are contributing something to groups that actually do something real. The scammers certainly are, there are plenty of iffy groups on social media run by the scammers themselves to troll for victims (we highlight them regularly on our main Facebook page).
We believe in transparency and truth, but hard truth. The kind of truth you should have listened to before you were scammed, and you need to share that truth with anyone that refuses to accept that they may be connecting with a scammer.
Avoiding scams is a skill, just like walking across the street and not being hit by a car is a skill. Scammers are merciless, sophisticated, and organized. Many of these scammer organizations funnel money to real-live terrorists – that means your money funds terrorists – not a happy thought. But you can do something, you can make a difference.
Every single woman and man, and even teens, need to hear about this. Talk to your friends. Talk to your kids. Act like an advocate against scamming. Donate your time and any money you can. Nothing is free, but nothing is easy.
Once you have learned, find out if you have a local victims advocacy team, volunteer your time.
You were easy when you became a victim, make a promise to never being easy again!
Will you join with us to reducing scams and scammers?
Start by becoming an informer here: https://www.romancescamsnow.com/romance-scammer-informant-program/
To be effective, you are going to have to change the way you think about some things. However, online dating can and does work once you learn to tell the difference. Meaning that you don’t have to give up because of scammers, you just have to be smarter than they are, and you can be!
We believe in you!
-/ 30 /-
What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!
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ARTICLE META
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.











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