
SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

The Face In The Photo Is Not The Person(s) That Scammed You
The Scammers That Engage In These Crime Steal Thousands Of Identities
Please Leave The Real Person Alone!
We are constantly asked by victims to identify the person in the photo that they fell in love with
Scam victims commonly want to save them by telling them that their photos are being used, telling them how they feel, or telling them their photo is being used by scammers.
Trust us, they already know their photos have been stolen by scammers!
Please Understand This!
For romance scam victims, the emotional pull to contact the person in the stolen photos used by the scammer can be incredibly strong. However, doing so can be detrimental for several reasons:
1. Further Emotional Harm to YOU:
- Reopening Emotional Wounds: Victims are often emotionally vulnerable and seeking closure. Contacting the person in the stolen photos may reopen wounds, reviving feelings of betrayal, embarrassment, and emotional trauma from the scam.
- Disruption of Healing: Victims are in the process of healing and moving on from the scam. Reaching out to the individual in the photos might disrupt this process, causing additional confusion and emotional distress.
- False Hope: Contacting the real person often leads to disappointment and even further heartache. The individual likely is aware that their photos are being used, but knows nothing about your scam and cannot help you. This can shatter the victim’s remaining hope and exacerbate feelings of betrayal.
- Deeper Emotional Investment: Engaging with the real person, even through brief interactions, can deepen the victim’s emotional attachment to the fabricated persona created by the scammer. This can make moving on and healing even more challenging.
2. Real Identity vs. Scammer’s Fiction:
- Understanding the Reality: Victims often believe the scammer’s false narrative about the person in the stolen photos. However, contacting the actual individual reveals the truth, shattering the fabricated story created by the scammer.
- Potential Confusion and Misunderstanding: The person in the photos is an innocent victim of identity theft. They have no connection to the scam. Attempting to involve them in the situation might lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and discomfort for the innocent party.
3. Increased Risk of Victimization:
- Scammers Exploit Vulnerability: Scam artists are adept at manipulating emotions. Reaching out to the real person might alert the scammer to the victim’s emotional state, making them vulnerable to further manipulation or even threats.
- Potential Legal or Security Risks: Trying to track down the person in the photos might involve engaging in online activities that could expose the victim to additional security risks or even legal issues – technically when the victim tracks down the person in the photos is engaged in cyberstalking.
4. Unwanted Contact for the Unwitting Photo Subject:
- Privacy Violation: Reaching out to the real person can be a significant intrusion into their privacy. They may feel harassed or even traumatized by being involved in the scam without their consent.
- Emotional Burden: The real person might already be dealing with their own struggles and may not have the emotional bandwidth to support a grieving scam victim.
5. Legal and Ethical Implications:
- Privacy Violation: Reaching out to the person in the photos can intrude upon their privacy and personal space, causing unintended distress to someone who has no involvement in the scam.
- Possible Legal Ramifications: In some cases, attempting to contact the person in the stolen photos can have legal implications related to harassment, privacy breaches, cyberstalking, or defamation, potentially complicating the victim’s situation further.
This is going to Sound Harsh
But you have to remember that if you try to track them down and contact them you can be doing real harm to another victim and their family.
Remember, that Face is Fake!
It is not a person – it is a fabrication. It is a lie and a fraud.
We understand that you are fixated on that face, but the real person is a victim too, and does not want to hear from anyone.
Almost all of the time, the person in the photo already knows they are being used by scammers because they are constantly contacted by people claiming to be in love with them, or wanting them to know all about their scam experience.
The Impersonation Victim
They do Not Want to Hear from You, because they are also a Victim
Anyone that does not accept this, and tries to contact the person pictured is causing just as much harm as the scammer. The people who have been impersonated do not want to hear from other victims. Their lives have been ruined by the scammer as much as yours has. All you will be doing is driving home how they have lost control of their face or their identity, causing more trauma in the process.
They want to be left alone. Some of them are hounded by victims constantly telling them how much they love them. Some get multiple calls a day about this.
You Don’t Know that Person – You have just seen Their Photo
While this sounds harsh and brutal, it is a reality of romance scams. You fall in love with a stolen photo from a real person and proceed to develop a fantasy relationship with them.
- In reality, you were lied to by the person or scam team hiding behind the photo.
- You have to accept this and move on. Focus only on yourself and your own recovery. Obsessing on the face in the photo is a path to obsession and madness.
- You need to get over the scam, you cannot help anyone else at this stage. You need to focus on your own recovery and forget that face – hard as that is.
- Additionally, obsessing about the face (and the real person behind it) can be considered cyberstalking, which is a crime in itself, so don’t go there.
It Doesn’t Matter Who He or She is, His or Her Photo was Stolen by Scammers
You have to understand that you do not have a relationship with a real person. They really do not want to hear from you. Hundreds of thousands of victims invade their lives. Can you imagine what it is like to have so many people stalk them or track them down and try to inject themselves into their life?
Accept that You were Scammed
- Accept that there was no relationship
- Accept that everything was a lie
- Accept the pain and use it to recover
- Accept that you will make it through this
- Accept that it just takes time
Just don’t make it worse by tracking down another poor soul and making their life miserable in the process.
Alternative ways to cope with the emotional aftermath of a romance scam:
- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nurture your well-being and emotional recovery, like spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, or seeking professional help.
- Connect with Supportive Communities: Connect with other scam victims through SCARS online support groups or through trauma counseling.
- Remember the Scammer’s Deception: Remind yourself that the person in the photos was not involved in the scam and deserves their privacy. The true perpetrators are the scammers who deliberately deceived you.
Remember, the person in the photos is an unwitting victim just like you. Reaching out might not bring the closure you seek and could potentially cause further harm to both yourself and the person whose identity was stolen. Focus on your healing journey and seek support from trusted sources who can help you navigate this difficult experience.
More:
- Recovery Psychology: There Is No “He” Or “She” In Romance Scams – 2021 [UPDATED 2023] (romancescamsnow.com)
- Reclaiming Your Worth: A Scam Survivor’s Guide to Navigating Your Worthiness After a Scam – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Trauma & Nutritional Health – Take Your Vitamins – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- SCARS 5 Coping Techniques For Traumatized Scam Victims – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Psychological Triggers/Emotional Triggers – What They Are And How They Work – 2023/2024 (scamsnow.com)
- Understanding Criminality – What Is Its Essence? 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Filling The Victim Void After The Fake Relationship Is Gone 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- What Really Are Vulnerabilities That Lead To Scams? (scamsnow.com)
- Recovering From Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
- Recovery & Support (romancescamsnow.com)
- The Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
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What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!
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I had never considered that the impersonated is also a victim. Now I am aware there are so many victims besides myself. I believed the lies and everything else the criminals said. I was very vulnerable probably due to my lack of self worth. I’m glad I was able to finally get out. I wanted to believe so much that I ignored my daughter. Even when she confronted me, I actually lied to her and said I had stopped. If it was not for their discovery on my phone, I would probably still be in this mess. I broke the trust of my daughters, not wanting to believe the truth. Now I have to rebuild their trust.
I am a professional victim, I believe all people are good, I was scammed by hackers but smart enough to not give money out this time, first time I lost 2000dollars but actually I wanted this person to be real even though red flags went up I carried through with sending money I had a name address and instructions as how to send cash, I sent it knowing full well it was a scam, But I had fell for the image and even after all loss of income, I still have a soft spot for the man in the photos, I hope one day I could meet the man behind the uniform, I understand he retired in 2013,
If you are interested in recovering from this experience please visit http://www.ScamVictimsSupport.org to learn what you need to know now.
It was very difficult at first to accept that the person who you thought was communicating with you turned out to be a victim too. It helped drive home the realization that it was all a lie.
This is a hard one to accept after seeing so many photos matching the story I was being told. However I was probably just being told a story that matches the photo. Still, I know it s best to just move on and focus on recovery.
Hello I found your site via tin eye a photo I loaded had lots of hits anyway I’ve been trying to locate her photo here but can’t find it I also thought of posting the scammers photos but again I haven’t as yet found out how.
Also of interest to you I have a whole lots of scammers photos which im happy to give you and what back story I can remember.
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