SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
Guest Editorial By Clair St Jennifer
The following is a Guest Editorial by Clair St Jennifer – a Scam Survivor and Member of SCARS Support Groups. Clair plays a role in helping scam victims to recover and educating them to avoid scams in the future.
A SCARS Guest Editorial / Victim’s Story
My Truth
By Clair St Jennifer
I want to take the time to talk to people that have been the victim of a romance scam about future relationships.
When you were being tricked by an online scammer, you probably got most of your enjoyment from the flattering compliments and the constant professions of undying love.
As you go into new relationships (hopefully with REAL people that you’ve met in person), you may find yourself thinking that your new partner falls short because he doesn’t constantly shower you with flattery and romantic quotes. You need to remember that in REALITY, men do not do this as much as women would like. Even the most romantic man in the world will not likely swoon as much as your scammer did.
Why? Because your scammer was playing a part in a made-up romance. He was copying his beautiful love quotes from scripts and internet publications. A REAL person will be afraid of crossing the line between love and too MUCH (as TOO MUCH can come across as needy, weak, clingy, and even borderline obsession/stalking).
Do NOT ruin your chances for future happiness by comparing ANYONE to the relationship you had with your scammer. Your relationship with your scammer was no more real than a Hollywood movie.
Richard Gere is NOT going to pull up, waving his umbrella from the roof of his limousine. Leonardo DiCaprio is NOT going to ride the wind with you from the bow of a ship.
PLEASE try to ground yourself in reality and you will find yourself MUCH happier…either independently or with someone.
Bless you all, and please stay safe.
*Jen*
Clair St Jennifer
U.S.A.
A SCARS Member
Feel free to leave a comment for Clair St. Jennifer or SCARS in the comments below!
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
i met a marine well he found me i always think he is hideing something because he does want me to tell anyone about us he always says wait to you bring me home tn we can tell them about us he says he is in love with me i am with him i i am older by 11 years he says it does matter when we talk it all about love how he loves me how mucg he missing me but theres days he is so nice but then all the sundden he is mean to me by swearing and makeing out to be y fale a i apologize to him he has on the time sorry to me i think he is a scammer but cant prove it he ask me to get phone cards for him so we have data to talk and he
asked me for 16,000 dollar to bring him to me it getting close to time for that but i don’t know about him when i say no its not time yet he gets upset and does talk to me for hours then he say i understand you done’t trust me with your money or if you love me you would fine a way to bring me home i need to know if he sounds like a scammer to you Please my gut feeling says yes sometime and no sometime i pictures of him and his girls if there his familyor not can you please help me
Of course he is a scammer. Everything about it screams at you that he is. Military personnel do not need money to go on leave. You just have to read our articles on the military and scams! Please read them so you will know and have no doubt. It is a fact – you are being scammed.