The Steps – Grooming & Manipulation
Scammers Have A Variety Of Guides They Follow To Learn And Expand Their Knowledge Of Scamming
After the “getting to know you” process the scammers step up the storytelling.
After their initial hello and a thousand question, they begin the storytelling process to both learn more about the victims and to further create vulnerabilities. This is where their manipulation techniques begin to dominate their victims.
In this series, we will be presenting excerpts from such scammer guides to help you recognize common styles and patterns that scammer use on their victims.
The following was designed to scam women, but the same questions can be applied to men.
Note that you will see considerable Scammer Grammar in these – which we have left as-is for your benefit. This is also just one variation of their storytelling, there are almost as many variations as there are scammers – but you will recognize enough common elements to see their patterns.
From One Of Their Guides – Unedited:
AFTER SHE’S ALREADY INTRESTED (SIMILAR FOR MEN)
Thank you for your kind reply and am in Afghanistan now for peace keeping mission, it was nice to have received a text from you, am new here and i was trying to find some old friends when i saw you gorgeous picture beside my wall and i could not help but write you to know more about you…… it is a wonder to see your picture was online on the Internet, may I ask to know you better, i mean tell me where you are from, where you stay ? are you married ? how old are you ? do you have kids and how many ? where you work and what are your hobbies …sorry for been so inquisitive
How are you and i want to quickly write you a little about me before i go out……. am a Scottish man but based in US, and am a soldier by profession in Afghanistan for peace keeping mission .I have been with the Department Of deffence for 15 years now and now i’m a Sergant here. I lost my wife 2 years ago, and i have a beautiful daughter named Lisa and she is 4 and she is living and studying Edinburgh Scotland about 300 km of my house’ Hobbies…. l like swimming, listening to music, reading, watching football and playing golf but i have not done any of that in years since i lost my wife cause all i do now is work, work and work so i hard go home so i do not have to think or feel lonely. That is pretty much all about me and hope to hear more from you soon.
Hello how are you doing? hope your day has been nice? it’s great to read from you again, i have been widowed for some years now ,Losing a love one is difficult but we have to move on in life .. I have been here at the camp for 18 months now and i should be retired or transferred from here in less than 3 months and this is why i want to make friends before i leave here it’s easy for me when am out cause i don’t have friends or relatives out there except my daughter When am retired, i intend to go in to supplies of copper wires and tractors for buildings and telecommunications networks so am not idle…. I write her though always cause she is all i have and that is also one of the reasons i want to retire soon too. I hope to retire soon cause i want to be able to spend more time with my little girl and also have a family again ” complete family ” .. I have no siblings and same is Lisa so she is in a boarding school for now and all we have is each other .. Life hasn’t been fair to us too over here.
WHY WE DON”T MAKE CALLS
Sorry i can’t call you cause we are not allowed to use mobiles here because the Taliban insurgents cause manipulate it to detonate bombs so for security reasons we don’t use phones… am sorry we can’t talk on phone until am out of here. How is your life over there ? do you like your job there ? i hope i can get to know you more though cause i hope to make honest friendship and more with you.. warm hugs to you.
Hello dear, thanks for your message, it’s really great to read from you again and hope your day has been nice ? I want you to know that a friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter So, I will always treasure the friendship between us and hope it can be more in future that will bring joy and laughter into each others lives. you seem like a nice woman and note that God has a plan for everybody ok, we just have to believe and be patient .. I really hope we can share more about ourselves honesty cause that is the bases for true friendship or relationship cause am quite interested in you now ..
Hello dear , thanks for the message i really enjoy reading from you and i will like to tell you more about myself I am the only child of my late parents Professor and Dr. Mrs of the blessed memory. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is friendly, honest, caring, and trustworthy and God fearing,. I find very much peace and tranquility here. I`m athletic build, mentally stable, physically fit, a bunch of laughs, warm, caring, honest, a good listener, God Fearing, and a positive person. I am real easy person to talk to and a loving and outgoing father. I enjoy playing sax which i do often at my leisure time. I like going to the movies, or watching movies in my room or Cabin, I like swimming, listening to music, watching football and I am a diehard fan of Chelsea FC and dance to any kind of music, I sing, sailing, going bowling and also a good cook. I am a family oriented person, love children and there is more, but it would be better for you to find some things out for yourself. It is very important for me to build a life of stability, security, and opportunity for the special person I hope to share my thoughts, feelings, experiences, dreams and fantasies with, and to offer the best opportunities for any kid that might be included in my life, both mine and that special person children, and that is my focus at this time and I also do enjoy my job though risky because we are always on the high battle field. I am really interested in wanting to know about what makes you the special person you are today, I want to know more about your family, your background, your life experiences, past relationships, your goals and dreams, your interests, and anything else you want to tell me. I even want to learn about the secrets you very rarely share with someone!. So come on and share it all with me, as I am not here to talk to you about general things such as partying, the weather, sports, e.t.c. I want to learn about you and what makes up your heart and soul, as the friendship I want to build with you I want it to be like no other you have ever shared in or experienced. This friendship I want to build with you will be filled with substance, quality, spirituality, love, faithfulness and potential. Hope I didn’t write much of a novel Hope to hear from you soon. Until then have a pleasant day.
Step 6 (Distance)
Hello dear, How has your day been? Nice to hear from you. I like to say much thanks for your message and for telling me more about yourself. I have really not been active on Instagram/facebook because of the nature of my job. It is my pleasure to let you know that I have taking you as my special friend, I hope we can be a very good friend. I hope we can be in constant communication so we can get to know more about ourselves. What’s your plan for the future dear? All i want now is someone who i can love and give my heart to, honest, faithful and responsible. A woman who can communicate what she desires and has the ability to listen. Someone who is positive and believes that everyday holds something amazing. I want to share my life with someone, and it won’t be as a playmate. I am a very passionate man, and i need a passionate woman to be my partner.i have got to know the value of a woman in a man’s life. And also to let you know that the distance and language can never be a problem because all that matters is understanding, trust and passion as i am ready to travel miles just to spend the rest of my life time with the woman i love.Hope you find this mail understanding. I want to say that my heart is full of joy and happiness for knowing you and i will like us to keep this closeness and hope this will bring us to a better future as I wish. We seriously need people’s prayer for God’s protections here in Afghanistan. Hope to hear from you soon. Do have a nice day.
Step 7 (Fallin More In Love)
Dear, I think about you every second of every day. When I fall asleep, my dreams are about you. When I wake up, I look at the empty pillow next to me and wish you were there looking into my eyes. I wish I could tell you how I really feel. Dear I want a long term relationship and one that will last forever but now we have to take it slow and get to know more about each other better. I wish I could tell you but I don’t want to scare you away from me, and I would rather write you and not be with you then to never see you , because writing you every day is a gift from God that I was blessed with. I guess I will never know how you feel unless I confess my love to you. Who knows – you might feel the same about me. I really think I am falling in love with you . I just don’t know how to tell you. i know that this might be too forward or fast but i just thought you knew what i felt and i am sorry if this is not want you wanted.I pray and hope that you understand my message …. your smile entices me,your words keep me warmth when i am lonely and i would like to spend the rest of my life with you i need someone who will love me for whom i am not for what i am.
And There It Is – The Typical 7 Days And Then On Day 7, Drop The “I Love You” To Trigger The Amygdala Hijack!
These are directly from one of their guide books that they copy and paste in messages to new prospect victims.
The above was unedited. We did not change the grammar or the punction – bad though it is. You can see it is full of scammer grammar!
You will notice that it is full of local (African) phrasing and terms. If you look carefully you can spot them, with lots of Scammer Grammar.
The major issue you will notice in this is how the questions are designed to “groom” the victim into specific directions – trusting the scammer, the scammer’s interest in business deals, and violating that trust. These help set the stage for the scammer to leverage that grooming process with Amygdala Hijacks, and the full-scale gaslighting-style manipulation and control.
If you are not a native English speaker you would not notice the odd phrasing of many of these questions.
Keep an eye out for any of these, assuming you are still talking to strangers! Just remember, that ANYONE that contacts you directly that you do not know or have a prior affiliation with is going to be a scammer!