WHY ARE YOU HERE?
That is kind of a rude question!
Imagine some stranger came up to you on the street and asked you that?
You would be put off, right? But if you were in their house, it would be different, right?
However, sincerely would like to know WHY you are here at this website?
It’s a rhetorical question actually – meaning you don’t need to answer us, but you need to answer it for yourself! Though we would love for you to comment below if you would like to share your reasons.
In order to help you, to help yourself, you need to be prepared to admit and share things about your situation – present and past.
Not everyone is ready, but if you are not here to heal and be supported, you are in the wrong place.
This is NOT an endless scammer hunting parade website like so many others. We expose plenty of scammers (23,500 real scammers in a month typically), mostly so victims can avoid them.
That is largely a waste of time for many of you. You can chase scammers until the end of time and not really make a difference.
As a scam survivor, you need to recover and move on so you can feel whole and get your life back.
That is not easy OR GOING TO BE EASY, because most people that become victims become traumatize by the scam – both from the emotional violation and from the dependency of the fake romance itself.
Some of us have already gone through the process and come out the other side. When you truly don’t care about scammers any more – meaning you can go a whole day with thinking about them – you are far down the path.
But if you are a recent victim you are still chasing them, obsessed with them, still angry, still hurt, wanting to get even. We are here to do what we can to help and support you.
You are going to have to do this, to a large entent yourself. No one can save you but yourself. All we can do is help support you.
We have amazing people in here, plus incredible volunteers in our support groups. All together, this is an excellent resource and within our support groups even more. We know why we are here, do you know why you are here?
You need to do the hard work that is takes or it is not going to succeed. That’s just the way recovery works.
Most people in our support groups do not participate. If you are here to just chase scammers, or just listen, you are not really here for the right reason, this is really a website for people that want to get better.
If you are here because you have gone through this process and want to sincerely help others, you are vital and we are blessed to have you our there helping others. Just remember that crime victims’ support is regulated and something for people that know what they are doing.
We just want you to know what we started our support groups for, and to understand that this is about YOU, not the scammers.
Getting back at the scammers, yes it help’s to occupy some of your time, and can lead to some relief, but in the long run, it is a tunnel to nowhere and we would love for you to come out the other end into the light, and not be trapped in the darkness!
So if you are a survivor, you need to start participating in your recovery a little so that we can help. Please let us know! There are people here to support you.
We have put together a (non-medical) support & recovery program based upon the Alcoholics Anonymous’s proven program with variations specifically designed for crime victim assistance and support, registered with the United States Department of Justice’s National Center for Victims of Crime. We saw the truth of this in ourselves and lots of people we have seen over our 27 years holding back the ocean called scams. The ocean always wins, unless you learn to swim.
Why did we bother?
Because we hope that at some point you will be ready and need the help. That eventually you will recover and want to help.
If you are already recovered, and a member of one of our groups, we are blessed to have you, because you are the critical component in helping others. You can be the pillar people can lean on. You can help others get through this maybe a little easier than you did. You can also help rescue more people before they become victims.
Don’t let yourself drown trying to save others! Though saving others is what it is all about. If that is not for you, that is ok too!
This is why we all are here, or should be here.
We are here to support each other, first, last, and everything in between!
However, our people are humans too and deserving of respect for their tireless support of victims, so if you are going to be an idiot or a hater, we can’t help you.
Welcome to the tribe called Recovering Scam Survivors!
The whole SCARS/RSN team are proud to know you and be here for you!
Keep in mind that SCARS Sponsored and Approved Support Groups are the ONLY ones that are registered and compliant. So always ask if they are a SCARS Member and if they are Approved by SCARS to support online crime victims!
Tim McGuinness, Ph.D.
Chairman & Founder
Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams [SCARS]
Miami Florida U.S.A.
a Non-Profit Non-Governmental Organization
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