You Need To Let Go
A touch of "tough love" from Romance Scams Now
A victim recently corresponded with us about how he was scammed over a 6 month period by a Ghana scammer known as GIFTY. If you have read our website, you would know that anyone in Ghana named Gifty should be assumed to be a scammer.
What is always tragic is how hard it is to accept the fact that it was a scam.
Yet accepting that fact is essential to recovering from the scam.
Many many ask us to put them in contact with the porn star or person who's photos were being used (stolen) by scammers. They want to help the person, and make sure they know this is being done with their photos. In fact we spoke with a model in Romania just yesterday who was unaware this was being done. Trust us when we say, they do not was to hear from victims that have been scammed. It is not out of malice, it is that so often the scammer's victim has fallen in love with the person they see in the photo - which is not the real person in that photo. Most of the mainstream adult stars and other public persons know their photos are being used, and are powerless to stop it; they don't need to hear from countless victims too.
There are many truths about dating and romance scams. One of them is that there are millions of victims. No matter what you felt or thought about the person you were connected to, you were being used - you were being scammed. This is hard to hear, but the sooner you accept that simple fact, the better you will be able to move on.
Dating and Romance scams ARE a big business. They bring in hundreds of millions of dollars every year to little countries in Africa, such as Ghana, Nigeria, Liberia, Togo, and others. Their local police laugh at the stupid westerners that get scammed. It is only when their national reputation is on the line that they care. If they cared, they would control this, but they don't. There are a few countries, such as the Philippines and Malaysia that do care and work aggressively to stop it, but they are few. We have been successful to getting arrests in 16 countries because we understand how to motivate the local governments, but as individuals, there is no chance to obtain much help from them. It is just the way it is.
We are also constantly asked to track down this scammer or that, so that the victim can know their real identity. Victims want to confront their scammer, seeking recognition and closure. In a few cases we have been able to do this and obtain an arrest. In other cases we have been able to do this, and nothing happens. However, we do not yet have investigators in each of these countries, so we have to work from a distance and obtain the best result possible. Our mission has been to educate, inform, and provide what support we can. We do not get money from any government, we are supported by our parent company, and a small amount of ad revenue, this is what powers our website and our dozen Facebook pages, plus other social media accounts. We are not private detectives, yet victims get angry when we tell them this, as though we are responsible for righting their wrong. We wish we could.
Being a victim of a romance scam is the equivalent of being psychologically raped.
You have shared your most inner self, your desires, feelings, and soul with another person that you have trust in. Only to find out that it was all a lie, and worse, you were being used to line the pocket of a fraudster half a world away. You were shown the kind loving face of a stranger and believed that you knew that person. That that person cared for you, and just needed a little of your help so that they could be with you.
It was a lie, and they cut you to your soul.
When you discover this, you are angry and depressed. You know it to be true, but you can't or won't believe it. You want to reach the real person and find out if it was so. The fact is you were just a pawn, you were being used as a means to an end. They just want your money.
How you hate them for that.
You want justice, as any sane person would want, but the fact is that most of the time there is no justice, just loss. They are in another country, on another continent. They only care about you as long as you send your Western Union payments. You think someone must be responsible, Western Union, the government, the police, someone should be able to do something.
Someone is doing something - we are - you are reading the world's largest anti-scammer website right now. However, there are limits on what we and others can do.
In the end, you are the only person responsible. You believed the lie, and you sent the money.
That is a terrible thing to say, but it is the truth you must accept so that you can move on.
You are smarter now, less trusting. Except you are likely to be scammed again. You are your own worst enemy.
Our statistics show that the average victim will be scammed between two and three times before they truly get it. Why? Because as Fox Mulder says "I want to believe". You want to believe there is a person for you out there, and in fact there is, but you have to be smart about it.
You have to learn the ways of the scammers, in order to avoid being scammed.
This is about your survival online.
This is about being an informed consumer in a world at war with online scams.
YOU have to do it for yourself. You have to learn, and accept what has happened to you.
If you want to make a difference, then help, then do something. There are many things you can do - spread the word, support real efforts to track down scammers. But don't just complain. A like on a Facebook post is being lazy. No one cares if you like a post, unless you are DOING something real. What are YOU doing that is REAL?
Here are the things you can do that WILL make a difference!
- When you encounter a scammer document everything - don't be lazy
You need to get emails, profile web addresses, phone numbers, names, everything you can
- Report EVERY SCAMMER you find here: http://romancescamsnow.com/how-to-report-scammers-fraudsters/report-scammers-here/
This publishes the information so other potential victims can find and confirm the scammer
- Share your experience in forums such as: https://www.facebook.com/Romance-Scams-Now-534354516651756
Talking about your experience is important and helps you come to grips with your experience
- Report the scammer to the website operators
This will help profiles be deleted to save other potential victims - if they don't take it down on the first report, keep reporting
- Comment when you have something to say to others
Just clicking LIKE is lazy - you have knowledge and experience - share it with words
- Report the scam to your national police (FBI, PNP, RCMP, MET, etc.)
Most Western Nations make this easy through online report forms - don't expect anything to happen, but it helps inform your government on who big the problem is
- Report the scam to the government of the country where the scammer lives
Some country's police forces have websites for this, in other cases you can report it to your local embassy